1) Okay, now what did you say your name was again?
2) Yeah, so after I'm finished with my probation . . .
3) Don't worry, the itching and burning doesn't last long . . .
4) Darn, I'm kind of low on cash. You think you could let me borrow (or loan me . . . or let me hold . . .)
5) No, seriously, the trailer . . . (or room in my parents' basement or the tricked-out mini-van, etc.) has a really nice hot tub . . .
6) My phone? Oh, that's just the wife calling to see where I am . . .
7) Oops, sorry, but I think it mighta broke . . .
8) You wanna come over? Mama and her dogs (or her cats or her ferrets or her goats or her ______ **you fill in the blank**) are generally fast asleep by now . . .
9) Funny, the woman I went out with last night said the exact same thing . . .
10) Soon as I get the flea (or the tick or the roach or the _____ ** fill in your vermin of choice **) infestation taken care of, I'll invite you over . . .
11) Did I ever tell you about the time I was on Jerry Springer? (or Maury Povich or Cops or Cheaters or _______ ** fill in your ignorant show of choice**)
12) Okay, I know it looks bad, but I'm really not all that contagious . . .
13) Holy crap! I think you mighta broke it . . .
Well, that's my list (smile). All comments and/or additions are welcome.