Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thursday Thirteen # 34 . . . 13 Things, I Assure You, I Don't Want To See . . .

1) Your drawers -- I don't care if they are clean. I don't care if you bought 'em off Ebay from Puffy or borrowed them from Madonna; I don't care if they're lined in silver and/or gold -- All I'm asking is that you pluck 'em up off the dang floor (ditto the dining room table, chandelier, etc.) before I come over and/or pull up your sagging or low-riding jeans!

2) Footage of you or any of your loved ones giving birth -- To be clear, any home movies containing surgical procedures, blood, gore and/or screaming (in the notable absence of a rollercoaster) I can very well do without.

3) Your corns, hammertoes and/or bunions -- If your tootsies look like they're coated in oatmeal or belong on a rooster, eagle, dragon or some other winged critter (mythical or real), please don't go barefoot or wear sandals around me.

4) Any of your removable body parts -- If any of your body parts come off or pop off, I'm more than willing to take your word for it.

5) Your nail clippings -- Were I into hoo-doo and looking to cast a spell or curse on your behind, your ole nasty clippings might come in handy. But since I'm not, dispose of them properly, please.

6) Your false teeth or your raggedly-looking mouth without them -- It's not often I prefer illusion over reality, but this is definitely one such case.

7) Your boobs -- Okay, unless you're nursing a child (preferably one under the age of 2) or you're experiencing a wardrobe malfunction, I really don't care to see your girls.

8) The sonogram image from your ultrasound -- I understand your excitement at your pending arrival, but unless the image is in 3-D or you're in the last month of your third trimester, I really don't know what the heck I'm looking at.

9) Pictures of you or any of your friends and/or relatives drunk or in the buff -- Fair warning, if you email me some mess like this or invite me to view such on your Facebook or MySpace page, you're putting our friendship in serious jeopardy.

10) Your a$$ crack -- Unless we're in an intimate relationship or for some socially acceptable reason, I find myself forced to change or clean your nasty behind, please spare me this trauma.

11) Anything a physician has removed from your body -- The sole exception being a child, of course. But gall stones, kidneys stones, warts, moles, tumors and other such growths . . . yeah, I'm really not trying to see any of that.

12) The excessive hair growing from your ears, nose, arm pits or covering your back -- Unless you've got paperwork verifying that you are indeed a Cro-Magnon, do me a favor and keep all of that stuff neatly trimmed or to yourself.

13) Any of your bodily waste products -- Really, some things ought to go without saying. But in the event that they don't, wipe your nose, flush the toilet and get thee quickly to the nearest doctor and/or shrink if the situation dictates such measures.

Well, are there any others you'd like to add? As long as you don't get too gross or x-rated, have at it (smile).

For those of you who don't know, sadly, the old Thursday Thirteen site and meme no longer exists. But a new crew has decided to keep the tradition going under a slightly different format. See Here for more info.

21 comments:

Brenda ND said...

I totally agree. There's a lot of things I'd rather not view. Happy TT!

Nicholas said...

I agree with you on 12 of those, unreservedly. Since I am a man, though, I am programmed not to object to seeing boobs.

Adelle said...

I just told my girls this. After you've cleaned your ears, you don't need to leave the qtips next to the sink for my inspection. Yuck lol
Happy T13!

Jen said...

Too funny!! I love the list and agree with them all!!

I was looking at your profile and I read and loved almost every book on the list! Ever read anything by J. California Cooper? What about The Darkest Child by Delores Phillips? I really enjoyed that one a lot!!

Anyway, that for coming to my site and thanks for the comment. I have never really opened by blog up to the cyberworld! Just a some friends and family out of town!

samulli said...

Yikes, now I got all these pictures in my head.... LOL, not really.
I'm fully with you on all of them. #8, though, made me laugh. I fondly remember the time when my best friend showed me her sonogram image of her then 3 months or so old fetus. We had such fun guessing what the blob on the picture reminded us of. The word "baby" didn't come up even once. :)

Betty said...

LOL! I'm not very easily grossed out, so there are certain things on this list that I don't mind seeing. Some are totally unnecessary though! Love Nicholas' response! =)

Gattina said...

I WON'T show them to you, haha !

Jackie said...

LOL I love the list! Number 12 is a good one..... if I want to see that I'll go to the zoo. LOL

Thanks for visiting my TT :)

Janet said...

lol this list really grossed me out!

Barbara said...

here here!!! I won't show you mine if you don't show me yours LOL! Fun list.

Lazy Daisy said...

I think you pretty well covered the list of things you don't want to see. I totally agree with them all.

Julie@Cool Mom Guide said...

How about the giant hair coming from the mole? Backne? Hmm....this is grossing me out...

:)

jenn said...

LOL! These are great, and I agree!

On a limb with Claudia said...

ahahahahahahahaha!! I love this list!!

kandyblossom said...

Great list! I agree with every single one of those.

Happy TT!

janetfaye said...

I LOVE your list!!

Sheila Wilcox said...

That was so cute. Ever clean up & find a bowl under your child's bed with something growing in it? Oogie! Your friend's suggestion, The Darkest Child, was a good book.

Karen said...

LOL LOL!!!!

Thanks for visiting my T13.

pjazzypar said...

You are hilarious! But for real though, I hear you about the bad feet. Can anybody say PEDICURE!

thornesworld said...

Okay really. LMFAO! happy TT! Im up with Veeery cute TT! Up with WoW in Thornesworld

The Bumbles said...

A woman I work with talked incessantly about her hammertoe - so very glad she didn't show it to me - the description was horrifying enough.