Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Thursday Thirteen #45 . . . 13 Things To Expect After You Publish Your 1st Book

Yes, I am speaking from experience. If it's on the list, it really happened to me.

1) You will be overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.

2) You will be less than impressed by the pettiness of folks you thought you knew.

3) If you take a bowl of candy to one of your signings, some little fat kid is bound to come along and help him/herself to a big handful or two. Seriously, some little fat bast--um, I mean--adorable tyke will have the nerve to mean mug you while he/she's scarfing down and/or carting off the bulk of your treats.

4) If you show up at one of your signings with a tray of cookies & brownies, some old guy who claims he's a pastor will help himself to two or three pastries before informing you that he doesn't read the kind of books you write.

5) The thrill of checking your Amazon numbers will be a short-lived one.

6) You'll receive unsolicited phone calls, gifts and other such attention from people whose sole intent is to get close to your agent.

7) You'll discover an online "review" that reads more like a personal attack against you, than an objective critique of the book.

8) Folks who can barely navigate the ins and outs of basic grammar will offer to "edit" your next "fictional novel"-- for a reasonable price, of course.

9) You'll uncover inner strengths and talents you never realized you owned.

10) You'll gain a newfound respect for book lovers, librarians, and independent bookstores.

11) Folk who have no real interest in you or your book will stop by the table where you are signing and insist that you smile and pose for pictures.

12) You'll eventually conclude that writing the book was the easy part.

13) You'll learn not to take candy or pastries to your book signings . . . or perhaps you'll just learn how not to sweat the small stuff (LOL).

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15 comments:

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Definitely don't sweat the small stuff. I figure better to offer the chocolate and let the kids eat it than to have it here and eat it, myself.

Brenda ND said...

Thanks for the tips. It's good to have an idea of what to expect. I hope your current book signings go smoothy.

life's journey said...

wow I am impress of such an author like you but hey congrats for being an author. Happy Thursday Thirteen. Charlotte is 4 hours form our place I live in Whiteville...

Calico Crazy said...

I got a giggle out of the fat kid and the pastor. I wonder how does he know he doesn't read books like the ones you write, has he ever tried. I know, I'm being silly.

Calico Contemplations

Hootin' Anni said...

That's awesome [I just read your "About Me"]....congrats on the November publication date for your 2nd novel.

My Thursday 13 [scroll below my Thursday Thunks] post is now published. It's a fun quiz for you with a PRIZE I made to grab-- if you win!! If you have time....would appreciate your visit. Have a great day.

Adelle Laudan said...

A round of applause for #12. Truer words were never spoken.
I wish you much success in all that you do.
Happy T13!

J. Lynn said...

Isn't it always fascinating that the people who haven't bothered to take the time to read your book or get to know you always have an opinion on either or both and they sure want you to know it? Congrats, good luck, and happy TT!

Americanising Desi said...

after reading this i think i will hold back my 1st book publishing!

i m a little scared!

13 signs he's not into you

Pamela M. Kramer said...

Oh I love your list! The kid and the candy and the pastor and the pastries. That's funny.

Pamela M. Kramer said...

Congrats on your book though!

pjazzypar said...

You are funny! Number 3 was hilarious. So you ready to this all over again?

E.R. Carpenter said...

Edit your fictional novel. LOL! Are there any other kinds of novels?

godlessgirl said...

I suppose I won't offer to edit your book either. And here I had my trusty Red Pen of Death at the ready ;)

Happy TT! I really appreciated this list because it tells a story. Good humor always helps!

chrisseascorner said...

Congrats to you! I've always wanted to write a novel too, and have talent, just don't know where to start!
Have a great upcoming weekend!

Sharon J said...

Very funny! I'm probably one of the greedy people you were referring to on your list. I will take advantage if there is free cookies or candies there. Beware.