Violence Against Women . . . A Few Righteous Responses . . .

Granted, my own first response to the alleged Chris Brown & Rihanna beat-down was a glib one and in full keeping with my "sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying" take on life.

But I do consider violence against women very much a serious matter. When it comes to the aformentioned incident, the apathetic, callous and "she must have done something to deserve it" type of responses I've heard from so many young women, young women of color in particular, truly saddens me.

Even Rihanna's own alleged response to the alleged attack defies what I was raised to view as common sense and sound logic. Okay . . . so you find hard-cold evidence that ole boy has been cheating on you and when you call him out on his low-down, ho-ish, trifling behavior, his response is to go outside your head--choking, biting, punching and all of that . . . But after filing a police report and suffereing through the pain and humilation of seeing both your story and your own bruised and swollen mug flashed across tabloids and TV screens across the nation within days you're laid back up with the fool?!

Umm, with all due respect, that's NOT love baby-girl, that's madness . . . on his part and yours. And to quote Biggie, if I might, "If you don't know, now you know."

Of course being a woman ( and a Black woman at that), I've lived long enough to know my opinion doesn't count for squat. Like a lot of intelligent women (Black, White or Other), I've had the experience (one too many times) of voicing an opinion in a group setting and seeing it nixed or ignored, only to have a man turn around and give voice to the exact same idea and have his opinion heralded as the truth, the way and the light . . . yeah, go figure. LOL

So, I'm thrilled that a few male media types like Kevin Powell and Ed Gordon have been vocal about domestic violence and the abuse of women and young girls. Not only has journalist Ed Gordon been brave enough to speak on the issue (see here), but he's also spear-headed an initiative called, Daddy's Promise, which encourages men to nurture their daughters and to be active participants in their lives. Big Ups to both Mr. Powell and Mr. Gordon for being willing to step up, speak out and do something about such an important issue.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY . . . TO ALL OF THE DADDIES IN MY LIFE . . .

My Daddy

Lori & Father

From Lori's Picture Collection

My Granddaddy

Granddaddy & Baby Boy

From Lori's Picture Collection

And My Baby's Daddy

From Lori's Picture Collection From Lori's Picture Collection

From Lori's Picture Collection

I Love You All!!!

IN PRAISE OF GOOD BLACK FATHERS . . . A Few Comments & A Call For Submissions . . .

Recently, while reflecting on "Carl" the male protagonist in my novel, After The Dance, I drew up a list of some of his more positive traits. The list included some of the following descriptions:

1) He's an old school romantic -- he draws a considerable amount of pleasure from love songs and slow dances;

2) He's hard-working -- he juggles a 9-5 at FedEx and a part-time handyman gig;

3) He's smart and goal-oriented -- he takes night classes & is working toward an MBA;

4) He's silly & fun-loving -- he appreciates the humor in life and isn't too proud or uptight to make a fool of himself every now and then;

5) He's a good father -- his children are, without a doubt, his pride and joy.

Of all the traits on my list, I think the last one may, ultimately, prove the most intriguing to many readers. In After The Dance, I paint a portrait of an adult Black male who not only provides for his children, but also plays and prays with them too. When was the last time you read about a brother like that? Much less saw one on television or at the movies?

There are some in the media, Hollywood, the publishing world, the music industry, society in general, and heck, even within the African American community who would have us believe the type of Black man I just described doesn't even exist. I know better. And as the saying goes, it's never a bad idea to "write what you know." (smile)

So for the most part, that's what I did in After The Dance. I wrote about Black men (and women) who though flawed and at times guilty of outrageous, if not down-right morally reprehensible behavior, are still basically good at heart, capable of seeing the error of their ways and open to changing for the better.

I come from a family full of men like my protagonist, Carl. Though not "perfect" by any means, most of them were/are hard-working, God-fearing, loving and devoted to their families. I'm also proud to say I come from several generations of Southern, working-class, but largely "intact" Black families. I grew up in a household with a Black father. My father lived in a household with a Black father. I grew up knowing both of my African American grandfathers. My own father grew up knowing both of his African American grandfathers, both of whom lived within walking distance of him and his siblings.

My grandfather and his children on an outing. My father is the babyboy seated on the bench. (From Lori's Picture Collection)

No, my father didn't come from Black middle-class, college-educated people. He came from Black Southern farmers and laborers, who though "land-rich" were by most standards "dirt poor." But the way some folks talk, people like me ought to somehow feel guilty about our so-called "privileged" upbringing. Well, forgive me, but I don't . . . not in the least.

My grandfather (mother's side) and my son.

(From Lori's Picture Collection)

What I do feel, I'm not ashamed to say, is special . . . thanks in large part to the presence of a loving, caring and supportive Black father (as well as a couple of grandfathers, a bunch of uncles and a slew of male cousins) in my life.

My Dad and my son. (From Lori's Picture Collection)

If you have a "poignant" story about a Black father you'd like to share, The Five Sisters Publishing Company out of Sacramento, California is looking for essays (350-1500 words) for their "Father's Project." The deadline is November 15, 2007. Authors of selected stories will receive a $25.00 honorarium, a copy of the book and a byline. Check out the following link "Our Black Fathers" for more information.