LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY . . .

Uh-huh, got your attention, didn't I? (smile). Shame on you. You know good and well it's NOT that kind of party up in here (LOL). Okay, I do want to talk about sex in literature and more specifically, your preferences as far as what you might consider too much or too little; too explicit or not explicit enough.

I've been amused by some of the comments folks have been making about After The Dance as far as the love scenes are considered. (What?! Your book contains love scenes?!) Ah, yeah, it is a love story and one called AFTER The Dance, no less . . . Anyway, folks appear to be falling into one of two camps when it comes to their thoughts on the matter--either the book wasn't quite steamy enough for them OR they found it a bit too steamy.

Personally, I don't think the book is steamy at all. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the hottest, I'd rate it about a 4-5. Really. But then, I've read a lot, seen a lot, done a . . . (LOL). Okay, let me stop. After The Dance is a humorous look at love, and do note the emphasis on humor, as opposed to anything hot and/or heavy. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the novel contains a total of two make-out scenes and two love scenes, none of which, in my view, are terribly explicit or contain details of a graphic nature.

Yet and still, I've informed my own young'n that he's to go nowhere near this particular novel until he's at least sixteen. Of course, if he's anything like me, I'm sure by age sixteen he will have snuck and read all of the so-called juicy parts and, if he's so inclined, moved onto trashier and nastier things (LOL). Forgive me y'all, I'm just a realist when it comes to certain things.

I'm sure I'll get plenty of flack for saying this, but IMHO, a lot of today's so-called urban-lit and/or erotica is really porn with a loose plot thrown in for good measure. Hey, the market is what it is and I, for one, believe GROWN FOLKS have a right to read whatever it is they enjoy, be it porn or poetry and without a whole lot of snide commentary from the ivory-tower thriving, self-appointed book police. But the other truth is, I'm not interested in writing porn, poetry, urban-lit, street-lit, chick-lit or romance. (What?! I thought After The Dance was a romance novel?!) Ah, NO, even though I often describe it as a "romantic comedy," I view it as a love story, NOT a romance, in the traditional sense. There is a difference.

So what say you? Do you think today's literature contains too much sex? If you do, what, in your opinion, is too much sex? (too much emphasis? too many scenes? too many details? way too graphic?) Are you satisfied (no pun intended *smile*) with the amount of sex in the books you read?

If you've had a chance to read After The Dance, what did you think about the love scenes? Did you find them too steamy? Not steamy enough? Did you think there were too many scenes of the "hot & bothered" variety? Would you have liked to have seen more?

The floor is now open. Feel free to discuss . . .

WOMEN, MARRIAGE AND THE BONE DENSITY FACTOR . . .

No, this is not a post about osteoporosis. It is a post about bones . . . more specifically spines or, perhaps, I should say . . . the lack thereof.

I guess, I just don't get it--you know--the whole "publicly standing by my man" bit, particularly when said "man" has not only broken his marriage vows, but made a Zip-Dang-Fool of himself to boot.

Why after being duped by said Zip-Dang-Fool would any woman, owning so much as an ounce of self-respect left, turn around and let Zip D. Fool drag her before the public so He can apology for His transgressions? Yes, I am referring to women like Effie Barry, Suzanne Craig, Carlita Kilpatrick, Silda Spitzer and all of the others . . .

Okay, I do understand and respect folks going off privately to work on their marriage/relationship/issues and the like. I've been married a long time--long enough to have high school age kids, actually, even though I don't. I know it's all about compromise, learning to take the good with the bad and operating in a spirit of forgiveness. I'm not about to hate or cast aspersions on any woman or man who ultimately decides she/he wants to stay with Zippy, put the transgressions behind them and move forward. Tor err is human. Now, to make the dang same err over and over and over again, is, well, you know . . .

I'm just saying, after the dirt's been done, why parade the Mrs. out to hold Mr. Fool's hand, pat his back and stand by his side? For the career? Heck, seems to me Zip should have thought about that before he unzipped . . . For the children? Please. I think, in the long-run, children are better served by having a Mama with a back-bone.

Really, I just wish more of these ladies would just say, "No, I'm not going out there!" Tell ole boy, "Okay, we can work on our issues, but after having already abused me and my trust, I'm simply not going to let you use me in this fashion."

I'm sure there will be others, but if I could say anything to them it would be "Stop drinking the Kool-Aid! Really, it ain't nothing, but poison, the type of which will eat your soul, if you let it. Instead, why not go get yourself a big, tall glass of milk, put your big girl panties on and see if you can't sing a few bars of Beyonce's "To The Left?" I bet it would make you feel a whole lot better.

(Written while listening to Erykah Badu's "The Healer" "Master Teacher" "Honey" and Aretha's "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" and "Respect."

VENUS WILLIAMS . . . SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT . . .

The following is yet another great quote I found in the July 23, 2007 issue of JET magazine. According to the article on page 9, after her recent Wimbeldon victory, Venus Williams said:

"I was really motivated because no one picked me to win. They didn't even say, 'She can't win.' They weren't even talking about me."

I, too, noticed the lack of attention Venus received before, after and during the competition. The news media almost seemed to take an "oh,well" view of this accomplished athlete. I'd like to say, I don't understand . . . but if I did, I'd be lying (smile).

If Tiger Woods goes out on the golf course and breaks a nail, it's deemed a newsworthy item of the highest order. If Tiger were a Black woman (not that he has ever considered himself a Black man, of course *smile*) would he warrant the same kind of attention? Probably not.

I'll even go a step further and say, he most certainly WOULD NOT were he a dark-skinned Black woman. Yeah, I said it. Meant it too (smile).

No, racism, sexism and the "invisibility" of Black women is/are hardly anything new. Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman?" refrain is just as pertinent today as it was when she first uttered it back in 1851

I can only hope and pray that one day we'll stop being in denial about the "isms" that we've all internalized and that influence how we see or choose not to see certain people . . . and one another.

So, what are your thoughts on the subject?