TODAY'S CULTURE OF CELEBRITY . . . AND ALL THAT CRAP . . .

"I've always thought there are two kinds of celebrities. There are people who really want to be celebrities. There are other people who want to be good at their craft. The ones who want to be famous are the ones who you hear about all the time. The ones who are studying and honing their craft have to do that out of the spotlight. You can't learn anything when you're out (in the spotlight) all the time."

Johnny Mathis (The Charlotte Observer, April 25, 2008)

Outside of the Old School Mix, I really didn't tell a lot of people about my recent television appearance. Make no mistake, I told those who didn't already know about the book (After The Dance) and shared with them all of the details about the two signings I had scheduled while in Memphis. But the TV and radio stuff, I left to others, like my proud hubby who called up just about everybody and their mama's (LOL).

Those who know me well understand that I'm fully content being in the background. I have no real desire to be in front of the somebody's camera or even behind somebody's mike (my dream of being a DJ fizzled a long time ago). I'm more than willing to step aside and leave the place on the stage marked as "the center of attention" to the more spotlight hungry.

Ain't it funny how those things you enjoy the least, often seem hell-bent on chasing you down? When I worked at the public library in Memphis, seemed like somebody was always sticking a camera in my face: on one occasion, I had to do an impromptu TV promo for the library's Magazines/Newspapers department and on another, I had to do a televised spot for an African American film festival I'd helped coordinate.

Shortly after my son learned that I was going to be on television, he struck up a loud chant of, "Mama's gonna be famous! Mama's gonna be famous!" Every couple of hours, he'd break into another round and finally I asked him, "Are you still gonna love Ole Moms even if she isn't famous?" Of course, being a good son, who loves regular meals, clean clothes and on-call chauffering, his answer was a resounding, "Yes!" (LOL)

I suppose, among other things, the point I'm trying to make is, I love writing and certainly, I love it all the more when folks find what I write entertaining and enjoybable. But I've never had a desire to be thought of as famous or a celebrity. I've never set as my goal "getting rich" from my work. Now, I would love to see some of my work on the big screen, but the satisfaction I would derive from doing so doesn't necessarily have a dollar sign or a certain number of zeroes attached to it. Sorry, if that disappoints, but I'm just simple like that (pun intended *smile*).

A lot of what I despise about today's arts scene (whether literary, theatrical, musical or otherwise) is the whole "15 minutes of fame" and "everybody's entitled or dang well oughta wanna be a star" notion. Bump that. Rather than doing some of everything (whether legal or illegal; moral or immoral; outrageous or just outright dumb) in order to draw attention to themselves, I really wish more folks (both artists and non-artists) would follow the advice shared in the quote above. Obviously, it's worked well for the 72-year-old crooner, known as Johnny Mathis. He's been in the game for fifty-two years and he's still going strong. Not only does he still perform, he can still draw a decent size crowd.

Think about some of today's more popular singers, writes, musicians, actors and the like. Who, among them, will still have a viable career, be in their right minds or even drawing a breath in the land of the living ten to fifteen years from now? Of course, nothing's promised and anyone of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Moreover, a lot of today's youngsters wouldn't know Johnny M. or likely be at all impressed by him, even if he turned up butt-naked on their favorite reality show, but I'm just saying . . .

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY . . .

Uh-huh, got your attention, didn't I? (smile). Shame on you. You know good and well it's NOT that kind of party up in here (LOL). Okay, I do want to talk about sex in literature and more specifically, your preferences as far as what you might consider too much or too little; too explicit or not explicit enough.

I've been amused by some of the comments folks have been making about After The Dance as far as the love scenes are considered. (What?! Your book contains love scenes?!) Ah, yeah, it is a love story and one called AFTER The Dance, no less . . . Anyway, folks appear to be falling into one of two camps when it comes to their thoughts on the matter--either the book wasn't quite steamy enough for them OR they found it a bit too steamy.

Personally, I don't think the book is steamy at all. On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the hottest, I'd rate it about a 4-5. Really. But then, I've read a lot, seen a lot, done a . . . (LOL). Okay, let me stop. After The Dance is a humorous look at love, and do note the emphasis on humor, as opposed to anything hot and/or heavy. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the novel contains a total of two make-out scenes and two love scenes, none of which, in my view, are terribly explicit or contain details of a graphic nature.

Yet and still, I've informed my own young'n that he's to go nowhere near this particular novel until he's at least sixteen. Of course, if he's anything like me, I'm sure by age sixteen he will have snuck and read all of the so-called juicy parts and, if he's so inclined, moved onto trashier and nastier things (LOL). Forgive me y'all, I'm just a realist when it comes to certain things.

I'm sure I'll get plenty of flack for saying this, but IMHO, a lot of today's so-called urban-lit and/or erotica is really porn with a loose plot thrown in for good measure. Hey, the market is what it is and I, for one, believe GROWN FOLKS have a right to read whatever it is they enjoy, be it porn or poetry and without a whole lot of snide commentary from the ivory-tower thriving, self-appointed book police. But the other truth is, I'm not interested in writing porn, poetry, urban-lit, street-lit, chick-lit or romance. (What?! I thought After The Dance was a romance novel?!) Ah, NO, even though I often describe it as a "romantic comedy," I view it as a love story, NOT a romance, in the traditional sense. There is a difference.

So what say you? Do you think today's literature contains too much sex? If you do, what, in your opinion, is too much sex? (too much emphasis? too many scenes? too many details? way too graphic?) Are you satisfied (no pun intended *smile*) with the amount of sex in the books you read?

If you've had a chance to read After The Dance, what did you think about the love scenes? Did you find them too steamy? Not steamy enough? Did you think there were too many scenes of the "hot & bothered" variety? Would you have liked to have seen more?

The floor is now open. Feel free to discuss . . .

MORE SIGNINGS FOR AFTER THE DANCE . . . NEXT STOP CHARLOTTE!

See below for details of upcoming signings in Charlotte for the month of May.

Me, Ayo, Martin & Tam

at Davis-Kidd signing in Memphis

From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

On Saturday May 10, 2008 from 2:00-3:00, I will be signing copies of my debut novel, After The Dance, at Park Road Books (located in the Park Road Shopping Center, 4193 Park Road ) in Charlotte, N.C.

On Friday, May 16 from 12:00-1:30, I will be signing copies of my debut novel, After The Dance, at Joseph-Beth Booksellers (located in the Southpark Mall, 4345 Barclay Downs Drive) in Charlotte, N.C.

I'm waiting on confirmation of an additional signing in Charlotte for May. I'll keep you posted.

PART TWO . . . MORE FAVORITE PICS AND PEEPS FROM THE MEMPHIS BOOKSIGNINGS FOR AFTER THE DANCE . . .

Da Handsome Nephews who insisted

on taking a picture with their "auntie" Da Author.

From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

Lori & Cousins.

From Lori's Picture's Collection

April 2008

Holding the book is my cousin Punkin who no longer

wants to be called Punkin (LOL). Next to me is my cousin Joyce, who looks

like she could be my sister rather than Punkin's (smile).

From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

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Me and my Cool Cousin Mike, who recently earned

his MPD major's badge.

From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

One of my Memphis neighbors.

From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

One of these young'uns took quite a few of the pictures at

his Mama's signing. From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

Me at the end of a long day.

From Lori's Picture Collection

(April 2008)

SOME OF MY FAVORITE PICTURES AND PEEPS . . . FROM THE MEMPHIS BOOK SIGNINGS . . . (Part I)

Okay, so it's like this--I could stand to lose 30-40 . . . okay possibly even 50 lbs and probably ditch as well what one of my good friends calls the "holiday hair" (LOL), but you know, it is what it is. As my friend Charlotte told me once a long time ago, the folks who really love and care about you are always going to see past all of that.

Also, let me apologize ahead of time to those whose picture didn't make it into this blog piece. Really, there were just too many of y'all. I'll try to include you the next time out.

Pictures from the Davis-Kidd Signing for After The Dance

from Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

Me and one of of my best sister-friends, Charlotte.

Me and Joy, the romance-reading friend from the library

who helped inspire the creation of After The Dance.

Me and Cathy, a friend who worked in Magazines & Newspapers with me back in the day.

Lori and The Always Cool Griff at The Davis-Kidd Signing.

Pictures from the Barnes & Noble Signing of After The Dance

from Lori's Pciture Collection

April 2008

Me And My G0-to-Guy Michael at the Barnes & Noble Signing in Memphis.

April 2008

Katie, a friend from my Memphis public library days.

Karen, one of my very first fans from back in the day (smile).

A new fan

Wait, is the line to the door?

Me and some members from my old church in Memphis.

From Lori's Picture Collection

April 2008

THE MEMPHIS BOOK SIGNINGS . . . FOR AFTER THE DANCE . . . WOW!

On Saturday, April 12, 2008, I held two signings for my debut novel, After The Dance. More than 50 folks showed up at both events--approximately 51 at the first one and 58 at the second. According the my calculations, close to 100 (99) copies of After The Dance were sold and signed within the span of 4 hours.

Forgive me for being glib, but really I have to say this to the bookseller who declined to arrange a signing of my book at his store because in his words, Memphis isn't a big enough town for two launch parties . . . What the?! Who said anything about?! Anyway, maybe, just maybe what's lacking in size Mr. Bookseller Ole Boy is your vision. Free your mind and your @$$ just might follow (LOL).

In any case, there are a few things I will definitely do differently the next time out. We actually ran out of books at the 2nd signing--something which could have been easily avoided, but that's all right. Like I said, now that I know who's willing to work with me and who's not . . . (LOL).

Hey, it was and is still all good (smile). Approximately 20 minutes into the 2nd affair when it looked like we were about to run out of books, my quick thinking niece and sister-in-law called the bookstore at the mall across the street. On locating another ready supply, they went and bought a handful and brought them back over for me to sign. A couple of other folks did the same. Wow! How's that for being "resourceful?" You've gotta love it, dontcha? Shortly after that little stunt, another boxful of my books suddenly materialized (LOL).

A great big ole shout out to everyone who bought a book and/or in some way lent their time, energy and support to making the launch of my debut novel in Memphis a success. Thanks for helping me prove that Memphians of all racial, ethnic and economic backgrounds will turn out and support a sister who dares hold two book signings at two different venues on one day (smile).

A FEW MEMPHIS SHOUT-OUTS . . .

According to mama 'nem and all of the other folks who called me afterward, my News Channel 3 TV interview went over well.

Shout-out to Channel 3's Marybeth and Chris for making me feel so comfortable and inviting me in the first place. Gotta love the Memphis love.

Big shout-out to my North Memphis confidante, Dee-Dee (aka, my hair dresser of over twenty years). My hair is much longer than the picture posted on my blog and I really can't do much with it. But not only did Dee-Dee hook my hair up on short notice, the day before my interview, she came down to the studio (on her day off) the morning of my TV appearance and worked some more of her magic. Thanks girlfriend. Like I said, ain't nothing like that Memphis love.

Shout-outs are most definitely in order for my cousin from Philly, Mary, who keeps trying to get me to come up there for a book signing. She bought 10 copies of After The Dance and has her book club reading it. I keep telling her, next year, I'm trying to do my Southern thang at the moment, but she's not trying to hear it (LOL).

A couple of other multiple copy shout-outs are due for my friend Alice Faye and one of my Mama's friends, Ms. Alfredia. My girl Alice bought 7 copies and passed them on to friends and relatives and Ms. Alfredia said she was looking to purchase 2o. What can I say? Actions like those from folks who aren't even blood kin, can only be called blessings. Thanks y'all.

Shout-out to my cousin Michael who works for the Memphis City Police Department and who got promoted to Major on yesterday. You looked good up there, boy, getting pinned with that badge. Now when are you gonna show up on 48 hours? (LOL).

Shout-out to the University of Memphis Tigers who came SO close. That's all right guys. Y'all played hard, did your best and represented the city well. No matter how many professional sports teams Memphis gets, thanks to the Tigers, it's always gonna be a big college basketball town. Go Tigers! Go!

My last shout-out for the day goes to Naysue of black girl lost in a book fame who inspired this particular post (smile). On my previous post, she asked a question in jest that lead to today's list of thanks. Check out her blog sometime if you haven't done so yet. She does an excellent job when it comes to shining a spotlight on those books, writers and works that all too often fall under the radar.

I do have a few "gas-face" awards I'd like to handout to a few folks whose behavior has been of the trifling sort, but I'm gonna save those until I'm back in Charlotte. I'm not trying to have folks show up at my Mama's house looking to issue me a beat-down, verbal or otherwise (LOL).

YOU WANNA SEE ME . . . ON TV? HEAR ME ON THE RADIO?

Well, those who live in the Memphis television viewing area might very well want to check out News Channel 3's Live at 9 at the Peabody Place in Downtown Memphis on April 8th between 8:30-10:00 am.

Hey, I'm also finally going to make my big radio debut. No, I won't be d-jaying (smile). I have been scheduled for an interview on WYPL, the Memphis public library's radio station. (See here for details). The interview takes place this Friday at 11:00am and is open to the public, but won't air until sometime this June.

Hope to see you at one of the booksignings in Memphis on Saturday, April 12th. Again, I'll be at Barnes & Noble on Winchester between 11:00 am -1:00 pm and at the Bistro in Davis-Kidd from 3pm-5pm.

THE SHOT THAT KILLED MLK . . . CAME FROM . . .

The shot that killed Martin Luther King came from

this building.

(from Lori's picture collection)

King: A Few reflections about his death & A few facts about his life

Just about everyone has seen the photo of the distraught folks standing on the balcony of the Lorriane Motel in the minutes after King's assassination. The building above is where they're pointing. A portion of the building, including the room where James Earl Ray allegedly stayed is open to folks who pay the price of admission to the National Civil Rights Museum (Memphis, TN).

Last year, I wrote a piece on King and my experience of his death in Memphis. It's one of my more serious pieces and I'm actually rather proud of it. See here, if you 'd like to read it: "Memphis & Martin & The Inheritance of A Dream"

Also, checkout PJazzy's "Thursday Thirteen" facts about Martin Luther King.

AFTER THE DANCE by Lori Johnson . . . AT A BOOKSTORE, RETAIL OUTLET AND / OR LIBRARY NEAR YOU . . .

UPDATE / BREAKING NEWS For those of you who'd rather leave the reading to others, an AUDIO version of After The Dance will soon be available. Yes, that's right--I'm talking CDs, cassettes and via download. Is that cool or what? (smile)

BOOK CLUB MEMBERS For those of you interested in a deeper discount, the book will soon be available through the Black Expressions Book Club. Visit their site for details.

Also, if your book club meets in any of the following areas: Charlotte, Winston-Salem, Durham, Memphis or Cleveland and your members plan to read and discuss the book, please let me know. I'm opening to attending/participating in discussions of the book in person, by arrangement and at no expense to your club OR via teleconference if you live outside of those areas.

REVIEWS Comments about the book have been wonderful, thus far (smile). You'll find links to a few of the reviews in this blog's upper, right hand corner. A couple of the reviews also appear in the novel's listing on Amazon. Feel free to add your own impressions of the novel in Amazon's comment section.

SIGNINGS

Look for me in

Memphis on Saturday April 12th, 2008

11:00 - 1:00 at Barnes & Noble Booksellers (6385 Winchester Blvd) **open to the public**

and

3:00 - 5:00 at Davis-Kidd Booksellers--Bronte Bistro (387 Perkins Road Ext) **invitation only**

I'll post details of my other signings as we move closer to those dates.

LAST WORDS Buy the book y'all or check it out from the library. If you enjoy it, share it with a friend. If you hate it, pass it along to one of your enemies. Either way it goes, I appreciate the support (smile).

A FEW SONG DEDICATIONS . . .

A recent post on Bettye Griffin's blog (Chewing The Fat With Bettye) both inspired and amused my inner DJ. In her post entitled, "Who's Making Love To Your Old Lady While You Were Out Making Love" Griffin rails against all of those who've either been caught and/or who've been moved to confess of having "knocked boots" with someone other than a spouse.

While Ms. Griffin had the newly installed Governor of NY and his wife in mind when she selected one of Johnnie Taylor's classic hits for her blog's title, when I first heard about the past affairs of the legally blind, African American Governor, the first song that came to my mind was one by the blind Blues musician, Clarence Carter . . . you know, the song where he brags, "I be stroking, I be wearing it out."

A commercial with the blind Mr. Carter singing that particular song used to air pretty frequently when I lived in Memphis, which, in case you didn't know, is the offical home of both Beale Street and the Blues.

Anyway, after reading Ms. Griffin's post, my inner DJ was moved to dedicate a few songs, mainly of the Blues variety, to some of the folks who've been in the news of late.

1) To NY Governor David Paterson, I'd like to dedicate my man Clarence Carter's "I Be Strokin."

2) To Paul McCartney, I'd like to dedicate two songs: Johnny Taylor's "It's Cheaper To Keep Her" and John Lee Hooker's "I Need Some Money."

3) To Idaho Congressman Larry Craig, I'd like to dedicate two songs: Little Milton's "Behind Closed Doors" and Ko-Ko Taylor's "Wang-Dang-Doodle."

4) To Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his former Chief of Staff, I'd like to dedicate Johnnie Taylor's "We're Getting Careless With Our Love."

5) To Former President Bill Clinton and Hillary, also affectionately known as "Billary" I'd like to dedicate Z. Z. Hill's "Cheating In the Next Room."

6) To Former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer and his wife Silda, I'd like to dedicate: Memphis Slim's "Messin' Around" and B. B. King's "The Thrill is Gone."

7) For Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds, I had to step outside of the box a bit in order to dedicate Kanye's "Golddigger." How's that line go again? "I ain't saying she's a golddigger, but she ain't messin' with no broke . . ." Also, in the more traditional vein, I'd like to dedicate to the pair B. B. King's "Never Make Your Move Too Soon."

8) And for the woman who sat on the toilet for two years (y'all heard about that madness, right?) I'd like to dedicate two songs: Jimmy Witherspoon's "Ain't Nobody's Business If I Do" and Big Joe Turner's "Everyday I Have The Blues."

Okay, those are my selections. You want a turn? Is there someone to whom you'd like to dedicate a song or two? Go 'head. Give it a whirl (smile).

(Written while listening to John Lee Hooker's "You Know, I Know" "It Serves You Right To Suffer" and "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer;" Muddy Water's "Mannish Boy" and Johnny Taylor's "Take Care of Your Homework.")

EASTER BLESSINGS. . . (Easter Images Of Old)

Easter Back In the Day

from Lori's Picture Collection

Baby Boy's 1st Easter

from Lori's Pic Collection

Nana & Baby Boy's 4th Easter

from Lori's Pic Collection

LAST CHANCE TO WIN . . . A BOTTLE OF MEMPHIS-STYLE BARBECUE SAUCE . . .

Earlier in the week, I held a contest in an effort to promote the upcoming release of my debut novel, AFTER THE DANCE. While Malcolm of Pop Culture Dish, Presented by Malcom won the free, autographed copy of the novel I was giving away, Pjazzy of Traces of a Stream won the free CD ( just so you know, she chose Four Play's version of After The Dance).

But there is one prize left! A bottle of Memphis style barbecue sauce (your choice of Neely's or Corky's) will be awarded to the first person able to correctly name all of the Al Green songs mentioned in my novel AFTER THE DANCE.

Pjazzy won the CD by correctly guessing that a total of six (6) Al Green songs are mentioned in AFTER THE DANCE. Thus far, she's also correctly guessed two of the songs: "Love and Happiness" and "Look What You've Done For Me."

Since there is only one prize left and only four songs to guess, I'm adding a new rule to the game. Hey, it's my game, I can do what I want (LOL). Anyway, the new rule is you can only guess two songs at a time. Okay? Got it?

Now, all of you lurkers out there need to come out of hiding and give Pjazzy a good run for the sauce (smile). Hmm, things could get messy. But if they do, I'll happily throw in some free napkins or a roll of paper towels (LOL).

Winner or no winner, the contest will officially end on Sunday morning (March 23, 2008). But don't worry, there will be other contests and other prizes.

In the meantime,

Have a great Good Friday and a Blessed Easter

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #18 . . . 13 FAVORITE "PRINCE" SONGS . . .

Hey, you knew this post was coming, didn't you? (smile) I'm a Prince fan from WAY BACK. The following are some of my favorites, but by no means are the top 13 on my list. Matter of fact, I could have easily made a list of 20. But ranking them is much too difficult an undertaking. As it was, I left off favorites like Pop Life, 17 Days, Raspberry Beret, If I Was Your Girlfriend and 1999. But let me quit complaining and get to the list.

1) Another Lonely Christmas (b-side of I Would Die For You/1984)

2) Anotherloverholenyohead (Parade / 1984)

3) Baby I'm A Star (Purple Rain / 1984)

4) Erotic City (b-side of Let's Go Crazy / 1984)

5) Girls & Boys (Parade / 1986)

6) Head (Dirty Mind / 1980)

7) I Would Die 4 U (Purple Rain / 1984)

8) Lady Cab Driver (1999 / 1982)

9) Let's Go Crazy (Purple Rain / 1984)

10) Nothing Compares 2 U (1992)

11) Purple Rain (Purple Rain / 1984)

12) She's Always In My Hair (b-side of Raspberry Beret / 1985)

13) Thieves In The Temple (Graffiti Bridge / 1990)

Do you have a favorite Prince Song or songs? If so, go ahead and name it and claim it (or them) in the Comments.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

WIN A FREE COPY OF . . . AFTER THE DANCE . . . AND OTHER PRIZES . . . (See Contest Details Below)

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a music lover. My debut novel contains over 20 references to songs and artists. But one artist in particular has more songs listed than any of the others.

I'll award a free, autographed copy of AFTER THE DANCE to the first person who can correctly guess the name of the artist whose music is mentioned more times than any of the others in the book.

In addition, I'll award a free AFTER THE DANCE cd (either Marvin's or the Fourplay version) to the first person who can correctly guess the number of songs the book contains by the artist whose name is most frequently mentioned.

As an extra bonus, I'll give a free bottle of Memphis barbeque sauce (Neely's or Corky's) to the first person who can correctly guess the names of the songs by the artist who is most frequently mentioned in my novel, AFTER THE DANCE.

Got it?! You wanna play? Yes, it is possible to win all three prizes. No, you won't have to pay any shipping and handling charges. Ready?! Set!? Go!

NOTE: MALCOLM WON THE FREE AUTOGRAPHED BOOK !!! BUT THE FREE CD AND BOTTLE OF MEMPHIS BARBECUE SAUCE ARE STILL UP FOR GRABS!!!

WOMEN, MARRIAGE AND THE BONE DENSITY FACTOR . . .

No, this is not a post about osteoporosis. It is a post about bones . . . more specifically spines or, perhaps, I should say . . . the lack thereof.

I guess, I just don't get it--you know--the whole "publicly standing by my man" bit, particularly when said "man" has not only broken his marriage vows, but made a Zip-Dang-Fool of himself to boot.

Why after being duped by said Zip-Dang-Fool would any woman, owning so much as an ounce of self-respect left, turn around and let Zip D. Fool drag her before the public so He can apology for His transgressions? Yes, I am referring to women like Effie Barry, Suzanne Craig, Carlita Kilpatrick, Silda Spitzer and all of the others . . .

Okay, I do understand and respect folks going off privately to work on their marriage/relationship/issues and the like. I've been married a long time--long enough to have high school age kids, actually, even though I don't. I know it's all about compromise, learning to take the good with the bad and operating in a spirit of forgiveness. I'm not about to hate or cast aspersions on any woman or man who ultimately decides she/he wants to stay with Zippy, put the transgressions behind them and move forward. Tor err is human. Now, to make the dang same err over and over and over again, is, well, you know . . .

I'm just saying, after the dirt's been done, why parade the Mrs. out to hold Mr. Fool's hand, pat his back and stand by his side? For the career? Heck, seems to me Zip should have thought about that before he unzipped . . . For the children? Please. I think, in the long-run, children are better served by having a Mama with a back-bone.

Really, I just wish more of these ladies would just say, "No, I'm not going out there!" Tell ole boy, "Okay, we can work on our issues, but after having already abused me and my trust, I'm simply not going to let you use me in this fashion."

I'm sure there will be others, but if I could say anything to them it would be "Stop drinking the Kool-Aid! Really, it ain't nothing, but poison, the type of which will eat your soul, if you let it. Instead, why not go get yourself a big, tall glass of milk, put your big girl panties on and see if you can't sing a few bars of Beyonce's "To The Left?" I bet it would make you feel a whole lot better.

(Written while listening to Erykah Badu's "The Healer" "Master Teacher" "Honey" and Aretha's "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" and "Respect."

COLOR BLIND . . . or . . . COLOR STRUCK? (True Story) . . .

Back when I was a bright-eyed, twenty-some-year-old, college student and living in Memphis, I found myself frequenting a hair salon with a predominately-White clientele. The salon was one of those chains you typically find in a mall. Matter of fact, this one was located in what, at the time, was my favorite mall--the now demolished, though forever infamous (smile) Mall of Memphis.

Anyway, I was sporting a perm back then and I'd somehow lucked up on a fella at this particular salon who could give me that hot, poofed-out look all the PYT's were sporting in the '80s. So one day, I'm there sitting under the dryer (possibly getting a conditioner, I can't recall) when the older White lady seated next to me strikes up a conversation.

No biggie right? Happens all the time in salons across America, I'm sure. But hold on, this one was a little bit different. This lady, bless her lil ole heart, starts in on how she loves my color.

"Oh my, I just absolutely love your color! I'd give anything to be able to tan like that."

With the salon music blaring (Duran, Duran, no doubt) in the background and the dryer humming on full blast, it takes me a few seconds to process the information and to realize, okay, wait, she thinks I'm . . .

I've barely finished the thought when she smiles ever so sweetly and asks, "So are you Greek? Jewish? Italian?"

Okay, granted, I'm a card-carrying member of the light-skinned tribe. I have a tendency to wash out in pictures and grow pale in the winter-time. And, sure, my perm-straightened head was tucked inside of a dryer. But I'm sorry, the nose is a dead-give away. Till this day, how anyone could ever mistake me for anything other than a person of African descent, truly boggles my mind.

In any case, I smile ever so sweetly back at her and say, "No ma'am, actually, I'm African American."

The sweet little old lady's smile disappears and for the remainder of our stints beneath our respective dryers, she doesn't utter so much as another word in my direction. Go figure (LOL).

(Written while listening to Aretha Franklin's "Rock Steady," "I Say A Little Prayer," and "Think.")

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #17 . . . 13 FOODS THAT MAKE ME SAY "YUCK!"

We all have them, right? Come on, you know you do (smile). Okay, I'm talking about those foods that trigger your gag reflex or make you wanna cuss your Mama, or whomever it is who's insisting you eat, taste or try "just a little bit." Bleech! For my Big Guy, it's beets and Brussell sprouts. For my little one, it's creamed spinach. You'd best believe, if something, anything is nasty to this kid, inevitably, he says it tastes like creamed spinach. Personally, I don't have a problem with any of the aforementioned. But just thinking about any of the following, summons a right awful taste in my mouth . . .

1) Fig Newtons (My husband loves these. But really, don't these taste like something that got rolled in kitty litter?)

2) Pottage, Cottage . . . Okay, "Potted" Meat (This is one I've long filed under mystery meat).

3) Spam (What sick and diseased animal does this come from anyway? See above).

4) Okra (This holds the honor of being the very first food that I can ever recall making me gag.)

5) Black-Eyed Peas (Okra and Peas seem to always come together to make one big, nasty-a$$ slime fest, don't they?)

6) Liverwurst (Liver is a bile secreting organ . . . need I say more?)

7) Livercheese (You know, I think I want to hurl.)

8) Liver (Okay, by now I think it's pretty much been established that anything with the word "liver" in it gets a pass from me.)

9) Cottage Cheese (I won't even put this in my lasanga. For me, the only thing more disgusting than eating it--is watching someone else do so. Bleech!

10) Grape Fruit (I say we vote this bitter, sour imposter right out of the fruit family.)

11) Watergate Salad (My mom loves to make this marshmallow, fruit and whipped cream-filled, multi-colored concoction and my hubby is generally the first to fix himself a big bowl. I, on the other hand, consider this little more than sweet and chunky cottage cheese with a bit of food coloring tossed in a sly attempt to fool the eye.)

12) Ground Turkey (I had a bad experience with this once. Rather than share any of the gross details, I'll just say it's not an experience I'd wish on my worse enemy.)

13) Egg Nog (There's not enough liquor in the world to make me want to drink this. Actually, I highly suspect this is cottage cheese that's been pureed with buttermilk, which, for the record, I can't stand either.)

Okay, your turn. Which foods consistently turn your stomach? I'm saying, let's all be grossed out together . . .

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I WISH I HAD THE TIME . . . BUT AT LEAST, SOMEBODY IS READING . . .

From Lori's Picture Collection

At the moment, the fellas in my life, at least the ones with whom I currently reside, are out reading me. The tyke you see in the picture above is now quite a few years older. From the looks of things, he's even recently acquired his very first zit. Poor baby (smile).

But between his Sports Illustrated For Kids and college basketball mags, the young'un has been reading The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas and poetry by Claude McKay from The Portable Harlem Renaissance Reader. No, none of the aforementioned is required reading for a class or an assignment from his dear old mother (smile). Actually, I told him The Three Musketeers might prove a bit challenging for him and recently he agreed. But to his credit, he hasn't given up and tossed the book aside just yet. I, most certainly, would have at his age. The other book, The Portable Harlem Renaissance Reader is something the boy's dad (the hubby) picked up for him last year at a Black Book store we visited on a spur of the moment trip to Durham. Now why the boy's sudden interest in Claude McKay's poetry is anybody's guess. Hey, he's just strange like that and he lucked up and gott nerds for parents, is what I figure.

For inspiration, the hubby is currently reading Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps To Living At Your Full Potential by the always smiling Joel Osteen, who I playfully refer to as the "Kool-Aid" man and for pure pleasure the hubby has been reading The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. The latter title is actually one I'd probably read if I had the time. One the book's inside flap, a Black Swan is described as "a highly improbable event with three principal characteristics: It is unpredictable; it carries a massive impact; and after the fact, we concoct an explanation that makes it appear less random and more predictable, than it was. The astonishing success of Google was a black swan; so was 911." Forgive me, but yes, that sort of thing really does speak to my inner nerd (LOL). But for now, I'll just content myself with listening and asking questions when the hubby comments on what he's read thus far.

If I were reading something other than the weekend edition of the local newspaper or a few pages from the latest Essence or Poet's & Writers Magazines, I'd probably be tackling Toni Morrison's Tar Baby, a hardback copy of which I recently picked up--though where I can't recall at the moment. It's one of the few older titles by Morrison that I haven't read. Also, on my list is I Got Thunder: Black Women Songwriters On Their Craft edited by LaSonda Katrice Barnett, a book the hubby got me at my request this past Christmas. Arnold Rampersad's Biography of Ralph Ellison, a book I bought at the Black Store we visited in Durham, is another title I would be reading had I the time.

So what about you? What are you reading? Or what would you be reading if you had the time? Also, if you dare, what type of literature are the folks in your house into these days?

WOMEN WHO'VE AGED . . . GRACEFULLY . . .

The topic of this post was inspired by none other than Ms. Ruby Dee, who really should have been honored with an Oscar the other night. No, I didn't see her performance in American Gangster nor the performances of any of the the other actresses she was up against. I mean, really, does it matter? Very seldom is that stuff is ever assessed fairly or based on any degree of real talent anyway (LOL).

Folks have been overlooking Ms. Ruby Dee (aka Mother Sister) for a long-time. At least since, A Raisin In The Sun I'd dare say. A big ups goes to Spike Lee for bringing her and her late hubby Ossie Davis back into the forefront and the big screen, via movies like Do The Right Thing and Jungle Fever.

But anyway, getting back to the topic, there's nothing that inspires me more than to see a woman, like Ms. Ruby Dee, who has aged gracefully. 'Cause y'all know, there are a lot ole girls out here who seem to be doing their darnedest to accomplish the exact opposite. No, I'm not trying to name any names. Please! And get myself put on somebody's hit list? Ah, no thank you (LOL).

Besides, I'd much rather stay on this side of positive and concentrate on those ladies who I think are still working it with class, style, beauty and grace. You may or may not agree with some of my choices. But feel free to add you own or comment on some of my pics. So, in no particular order . . .

1) Ruby Dee (Keep representing, Ms. Dee!)

2) Nancy Wilson (Yes, ma'am, now this is how I want to go gray.)

3) Sophia Loren (I do believe the hubby still has heart palpitations whenever he spies Ms. Loren. I know he can barely watch any of her old flicks without salivating.)

4) Rita Moreno (Makes me want to go find my copy of Westside Story and then slap somebody.)

5) Toni Morrison (Ms. Morrison can rock those dreads, can't she?)

6) Racquel Welch (I saw her on some show recently and could barely believe my eyes. All I could think was: Now, I know she is old as dirt. How is this possible?!)

7) Diahann Carroll (Gotta love Whitley and Preston Burke's mama, don't you? LOL!)

8) Judy Pace (Many of you may not remember Ms. Pace, whose hey-day was in the '70s. But I saw a picture of her in Jet, not long ago, and she doesn't look like she's aged a bit.)

9) Sally Fields (I think she just might be sipping from the fountain of youth.)

10) Barbara Streisand (Age has actually softened her looks, I think.)

11) Patti LaBelle (I'm pretty sure Ms. Patti has had some "work" done, but I swear she looks younger now than she did when she was with the group LaBelle.)

12) Priscilla Presley (I almost didn't put Ms. Presley on the list. I can tell she's had some "work" done fairly recently and if she's not careful she may end up looking like her former son-law. But overall, ole girl has got it going on.)

13) Diana Ross (Y'all stop hating. Even if you don't like Ms. Ross, you've gotta give it to her. For her age, she still looks darn good.)

Ordinarily, I would have saved a list like this for "Thursday Thirteen." But these days, I just don't have the time to visit all of those different blogs and reciprocate in kind with comments. But don't let that make you hesistate to leave your two cents here. If you leave a remark, I will most certainly holler right back at ya (smile).