THURSDAY THIRTEEN #22 . . . 13 SIGNS OF A "FAKE" FRIEND . . .
Come on, we all have them right? Fake @$$ friends. You know, the type who . . .
1) is the first to show up at your house when it's time to eat, drink or party, but is no where to be found when you need help with a personal issue or a family crisis
2) smiles in your face while repeatedly dogging you behind your back or stabbing you all up in it
3) never has any money and always expects you to treat when you go out
4) is the last to congratulate you on your good fortune, but the first up in your face inquiring about the details when you have a mishap or misfortune
5) only calls or comes by when they need a favor or wanna borrow some money, your car or a kidney
6) typically gets all self-righteous and pi$$ed off when you don't take their advice
7) only hangs with you because they think you have money, influence or friends in high places and they need a "hook-up"
8) never thinks twice about wasting your time or inconveniencing you
9) routinely solicts your support on their projects and causes, but won't go out of their way to return the favor or even properly thank your a$$
10) consistently tells you what they think you want to hear, rather than the truth
11) will routinely standby in order to laugh, mock and ridicule when you get caught flubbing up or floundering about , rather than offer a hand or a word of encouragement
12) doesn't really know you, but insists on trying to make others think otherwise
13) NEVER apologizes or even feels the least bit guilty about doing any of the aforementioned.
Did I just about cover them all? So, which one of these really gets your goat? Do you have any others to add?