Thursday Thirteen #25 . . . 13 Unfortunate Talk Show & Reality TV Truths . . .
Before we dive into the list, let me just put it out there, I'm not a fan of too many talk or so-called reality tv shows. It wasn't always that way. Back in the day, I couldn't get enough of The Real World. I even watched a couple of seasons of Survivor and Big Brother. I'll even admit that every now and then, for laughs, I'd tune into Springer or Maury, but it didn't take long for all of that mess to get OLD.
I'm saying, to each his or her own, but, for me, most of these shows have become so predictable, senseless, exploitive and uncreative, I fail to see the point of watching. I mean really, don't we all pretty much recognize the following scenarios?
1) If two 300 plus pound women are fighting over a guy, the fella in question is sure to be skinny, unemployed and/or in need of extensive dental work.
2) If there's a drunk in the "reality" house, there's sure to be plenty of gratuitous cussing, fighting, vomiting and other overly gross and graphic losses of bodily functions before the season's end.
3) If she's dressed in a French maid outfit, punctuating every other sentence with "girlfriend" while owning an Adam's apple as big as a baby's fist, she's probably a man.
4) If her hair-do is jacked up, hacked up or a right hot mess, her attitude probably is too.
5) If there are more than 3 attractive individuals in the "reality" house, the expectation is--two or more of them will hook-up for at least one session of hot and heavy boot-knocking.
6) If his mama, sister, auntie, play cousin or any combination of the aforementioned are on the show boisterously defending his behind, he's probably a dead-beat daddy, been locked up more than a time or two and/or is trifling as all get out.
7) If she's willing to kiss Flava Flav in the mouth, she'd probably kiss a dog square in the butt for a sum between $200 - $500.
8) If she's blonde, big-breasted and an airhead, she probably won't be among the first kicked or voted out of the "reality" house.
9) If there's a Blk man in the "reality" house, he will undoubtedly fall into one of the following stereotypes--"the angry Blk man," "the funny Blk man" or "the overly sexed Blk man" (who in the hell casts these shows anyway, David Duke and his crew?)
10) If she's weeping and wailing, hyperventilating or doing a Holy Ghost dance, she's either just been informed that the baby ain't his or she's somehow ended up on Oprah's Favorite Things Give-Away Show.
11) If his shoes are pink, purple, orange or red and he's wearing an outfit in the same color, he's either a preacher, a pimp or a circus clown.
12) If any of her kids are named Barcardi, Courvoisier, Alize, Chivas, Martini or in honor of any other brand or type of liquor, she more than likely isn't certain who the baby daddy is.
13) If the kid is barely 3 years of age, weighs close to 100 lbs or more and is on the show scarfing down doughnuts or big boy burgers with bacon & extra cheese or a tub of buffalo wings and all while clad in an adult-sized diaper, his Mama 'Nem and the talk show host/moderator are all big-time enablers who need to be getting the child in question some help rather than allowing him/her to be so blantantly exploited.
Hey, don't get mad at me. I just call 'em like I see 'em (LOL). So, do you have any reality show and/or talk show truths you'd like to add? If so, have at it!