Note: I posted this last week, but when the date on the Thursday Thirteen web site never changed, I pulled the post. Hopefully, all will go well this week (smile). Comments are welcome!
Since I've been an adult, I've lived in three homes and six different apartments and/or townhomes. At one point, we were moving around so much, my folks started calling me and the hubby the gypsies. So, I've lived in a lot of different neighborhoods and had both the pleasure and the displeasure of getting to know a variety of neighbors. The following are some of the more . . . memorable.
1) The Loud Music Lovers--All right! If I have to hear the theme to the Beverly Hillbillies and/or Working Nine To Five, on blast one more time . . .
2) The Anti-Lawn Care Crew--You mean to tell me there are six of y'all living over there and don't none of y'all know how to use a lawnmower!?
3) The Dope Fiends--When it comes to the neighborhood crack house, at least you know where it is. But as the hubby likes to say, the bad thing about living next door to a meth-lab is that you usually don't know that sucker is there until it blows up.
4) The Cat Lady and/or the Dog Man--Umm, why is it that the nice ole lady who lives with the 15 cats always wants to bring you home-made goodies?
5) The Good Time Gal--Look, if you're skanky enough to sit out on your patio in the wee hours of the morning, boo-hooing into your beer about all the men you done did or let do ya (below my bedroom window, no less) don't get mad if my hubby yanks up the window and yells down for you to pipe down and take your stank butt to bed. Personally, I'da told you to wash first, but that's just me.
6) The Nosey-Butt--Why is it that every time I break out my barbecue grill or I'm getting ready to add something to my landscaping or I'm talking to a contractor, you've got to bring your nosey-butt over and see what's up?
7) The Thief--My uncle shared this one with me. He said one night his shed got broken into and some of his lawn equipment was stolen. A couple of days later, he hears what sounds like HIS lawn mower. (Hey, he swears he knows what his lawn mower sounds like). Anyway, he peeps over the fence and spies the neighbor, the one who belongs to the Anti-Lawn Care Crew, out there cutting his grass with what looks like my uncle's stolen lawn mower.
8) The Broke Down Car Bunch--Dag man, whatcha doing over there, running a chop shop? Can't you do something about all those rusted out cars and engines you've got in your yard sitting up on bricks, providing shelters and playgrounds for cats and rodents?
9) The Chain Smoker--Tell me this, how is it that you can keep your car so spic and span, I'm saying, be outside bright and early on a Sunday morning washing that bad boy, but you've got so many durn cigarette butts in your yard, it looks like two inches worth of accumulated snow and it's the middle of July?
10) The Folks Who Fight--Okay, here's a thought, why don't y'all find yourselves a boxing ring or sign up to be guests on The Jerry Springer Show and get that mess out of your systems? A relative once told me, one of his neighbors called the woman he was living with out of her name so often, he (my relative) just knew the couple's poor kid was gonna grow up thinking his mama's name was either bit@h or ho'.
11) The Lovers--Okay, enough with the bedroom gymnastics already! If you must got at it like elk, why not get rid of the loose head board and the old box springs or better yet, just toss the mattresses on the floor so I don't have to hear all of that racket?
12) The Folks With The Bad-A$$ Kids--To the parents, care-takers and or guardians of the bad-a$$ kids. Look, I know it's hard. So why not just pack your bags and let them have the house? Hell, they're tearing it down around you anyway.
13) The Nut-Case--True story. We once lived next door to a fool who got a kick out of feeding the neighborhood raccoons. He said he found it therapeutic. Okay, fine. The only problem was after eating their fill on Mr. Nut Case's balcony, the nasty-a$$ critters would come over and take a crap on ours. When we asked Mr. Nut Case to stop, he said we were being mean and kept right at it. When we complained to management, Mr. Nut Case accused us of putting sugar in his gas tank. After the hubby started talking about getting a gun, I agreed it was time to move.
Okay, so who lives in your neighborhood? (LOL) Have you ever have to deal with any characters like these?