Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #27 . . . 13 Bad News Neighbor Types . . .

Note: I posted this last week, but when the date on the Thursday Thirteen web site never changed, I pulled the post. Hopefully, all will go well this week (smile). Comments are welcome!

Since I've been an adult, I've lived in three homes and six different apartments and/or townhomes. At one point, we were moving around so much, my folks started calling me and the hubby the gypsies. So, I've lived in a lot of different neighborhoods and had both the pleasure and the displeasure of getting to know a variety of neighbors. The following are some of the more . . . memorable.

1) The Loud Music Lovers--All right! If I have to hear the theme to the Beverly Hillbillies and/or Working Nine To Five, on blast one more time . . .

2) The Anti-Lawn Care Crew--You mean to tell me there are six of y'all living over there and don't none of y'all know how to use a lawnmower!?

3) The Dope Fiends--When it comes to the neighborhood crack house, at least you know where it is. But as the hubby likes to say, the bad thing about living next door to a meth-lab is that you usually don't know that sucker is there until it blows up.

4) The Cat Lady and/or the Dog Man--Umm, why is it that the nice ole lady who lives with the 15 cats always wants to bring you home-made goodies?

5) The Good Time Gal--Look, if you're skanky enough to sit out on your patio in the wee hours of the morning, boo-hooing into your beer about all the men you done did or let do ya (below my bedroom window, no less) don't get mad if my hubby yanks up the window and yells down for you to pipe down and take your stank butt to bed. Personally, I'da told you to wash first, but that's just me.

6) The Nosey-Butt--Why is it that every time I break out my barbecue grill or I'm getting ready to add something to my landscaping or I'm talking to a contractor, you've got to bring your nosey-butt over and see what's up?

7) The Thief--My uncle shared this one with me. He said one night his shed got broken into and some of his lawn equipment was stolen. A couple of days later, he hears what sounds like HIS lawn mower. (Hey, he swears he knows what his lawn mower sounds like). Anyway, he peeps over the fence and spies the neighbor, the one who belongs to the Anti-Lawn Care Crew, out there cutting his grass with what looks like my uncle's stolen lawn mower.

8) The Broke Down Car Bunch--Dag man, whatcha doing over there, running a chop shop? Can't you do something about all those rusted out cars and engines you've got in your yard sitting up on bricks, providing shelters and playgrounds for cats and rodents?

9) The Chain Smoker--Tell me this, how is it that you can keep your car so spic and span, I'm saying, be outside bright and early on a Sunday morning washing that bad boy, but you've got so many durn cigarette butts in your yard, it looks like two inches worth of accumulated snow and it's the middle of July?

10) The Folks Who Fight--Okay, here's a thought, why don't y'all find yourselves a boxing ring or sign up to be guests on The Jerry Springer Show and get that mess out of your systems? A relative once told me, one of his neighbors called the woman he was living with out of her name so often, he (my relative) just knew the couple's poor kid was gonna grow up thinking his mama's name was either bit@h or ho'.

11) The Lovers--Okay, enough with the bedroom gymnastics already! If you must got at it like elk, why not get rid of the loose head board and the old box springs or better yet, just toss the mattresses on the floor so I don't have to hear all of that racket?

12) The Folks With The Bad-A$$ Kids--To the parents, care-takers and or guardians of the bad-a$$ kids. Look, I know it's hard. So why not just pack your bags and let them have the house? Hell, they're tearing it down around you anyway.

13) The Nut-Case--True story. We once lived next door to a fool who got a kick out of feeding the neighborhood raccoons. He said he found it therapeutic. Okay, fine. The only problem was after eating their fill on Mr. Nut Case's balcony, the nasty-a$$ critters would come over and take a crap on ours. When we asked Mr. Nut Case to stop, he said we were being mean and kept right at it. When we complained to management, Mr. Nut Case accused us of putting sugar in his gas tank. After the hubby started talking about getting a gun, I agreed it was time to move.

Okay, so who lives in your neighborhood? (LOL) Have you ever have to deal with any characters like these?

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Malcolm said...

Before I moved a couple of years ago, I lived kitty corner to an "anti-lawn care crew". What made it even worse is that they had the nerve to sit out on the porch with their yard looking raggedy.

I also used to live upstairs from a young lady who seemed to have a bit of drama in her life. One late Friday night, I heard some loud voices coming from outside. Figuring it was just someone returning from the bar, I didn't think anything of it. Because it continued, I went outside to see what was happening. As I looked down over the balcony/staircase in front of the building, I saw her, another young lady and 3 guys. The loud talking/profanity continued (about what, who knows). She and the other young lady eventually started going at it, wrestling on the ground, hair pulling etc. This went on for like 10 minutes. They never even knew I was there.

pussreboots said...

For the first couple of years we were living in our current place we were probably next to a Meth house. Seriously were afraid the place would blow up. Fortunately they were forced to move. The new neighbor fixed up the place and has been a nice normal neighbor.

Happy TT.

storyteller said...

Many of these are ‘familiar’ … currently I live next door to a ‘vacation rental’ so every week is someone new. Most are ‘okay’ but some (like LAST weekend) are hoards of college students who drop in to P A R T Y (noisily) and leave an awful mess behind. My T-13 is ‘almost wordless’ at Small Reflections.
Hugs and blessings,

Meju said...

Now I am more thankful for than ever for my neighbors.

Cheryl-Food Blog said...

We've been prett lucky with neighbors though we did have a Good Time Gal/Loud Music Lover Combo-but it wasn't 9 to 5, she played GangstaRap for all her gangsta wannabes. Right now one set of neighbors, although very friendly, are a combo of Anti-Lawn Care & Broken Down Car & Bad Ass Kid. I hate to be rude because they're nice...but it's such an eyesore! Ugh!

~Just Me~ said...

Lol great list, Im with Meju, I love my neighbors now.

Jen said...

This list is hilarious! I'm going to have to remember this idea to steal it myself later. I promise not to steal anyone's lawn mower though. :)

Debbie said...

What a great list idea - so funny!

I'll be addin you to my TT today!

Patsy said...

I could add you blog to the list of things that make me smile. That is the best description of the neighbors from _ _ _ _ I think I've ever read. Great job.

Thanks for dropping by earlier.

forgetfulone said...

Thanks for stopping by today.

Man, what a post! You have some doozies living near you.

pjazzypar said...

At this point in time I live on the corner, so I only have 1 family next door and they are cool and neighborly. This has not always been the case. Once I lived in "DRAMA CENTRAL"! It was in circa 1993-96, in an 8 unit apartment building in Long Beach, California. The building had all types of people from crack heads to hookers (sometimes both embodied in the same person). My best friend lived across the hall, so at least I had company (you know how it is with misery). There was never a shortage of something to laugh at and I kind of missed the spot after I moved a way.

Once old crack head Susie from directly below had the nerve to come up and wake me at 2:30 AM to ask if she could borrow twenty dollars. I told her if she didn't get away from my door I was going to get my gun. I can laugh about it now, but it really wasn't all that funny at the time.

Ehav Ever said...

Hey Lori,

I once had some neighbors that smoked so many cigarettes that it as if the smoke was seeping through the walls. There were some who lived below me and I could always smell what liked smoke in my bathroom. There was a vent that passed from the bottom of the building to my floor right past the bathroom, and I can only assume they were smoking into it.

I also had the "old lady that curses like a sailor neighbor." That was a tough one. It was especially weird when she started cursing out some guy in the hallway for about 40 minutes, and then wanted to talk to me about it.

I think you pretty well covered all the classic neighbor types. It would be interesting to have one those "where are they now" for bad neighbors.