1) The well-intentioned, but obviously clueless relative who insists on bringing the same nasty a$$ dish every year that nobody wants to eat.
2) The uncle who, instead of saying grace, delivers a ten-minute, mini-sermon.
3) The auntie who always smells like a right lethal combination of bourbon and Bengay.
4) The relative who insists on talking non-stop and in full detail about everybody's medical ailments, health issues, treatments and operations.
5) The greedy a$$ cousins who never bring anything, but eat like field hands and lumberjacks and take two and three foil-wrapped plates home.
6) The sticky-fingered relative you have to stop at the door and pat down and/or wand before he/she leaves.
7) The sticky-fingered relative's shifty-eyed friend, who you highly suspect may be casing your place and planning to come back later.
8) The dear old uncle who generally smells like a right rank combo of moldy, wet tobacco and burnt garlic.
9) The big-mouthed relative who, when he's not bragging about his exploits is telling the same lame, boring a$$ stories/lies he tells every year.
10) The kindly neighbor with the 25 house cats, dogs and/or rats who always wants to drop by with a homemade dish.
11) The sweet, little ole aunt who criticizes your every dish while steadily stuffing her face.
12) The bad a$$ kids or drunk male relatives who go into your bathroom and aim at everything, but the freaking commode.
13) The so-called good friend who only wants to come over so he/she can laugh at all of the fools in your crazy a$$ family.
Any comments or additions? If so, bring 'em on (smile)!