THURSDAY THIRTEEN #21 . . . 13 CUSS-WORTHY MOMENTS I'm sorry, the footage of the female news anchor dropping the "F" bomb still cracks me up. Check her out HERE, (from Pop Culture Dish, Presented by Malcolm) if you dare. Okay, I'm not saying it's the RIGHT thing to do or the most INTELLIGENT or the most CREATIVE even, but at some point most of us have totally lost it and let fly with a choice word or two or three, or hell, even a whole slew of those bad boys. The following are some of the times, moments and occasions I've deemed particularly cuss-worthy . . .

1) When you stub your pinkie toe

2) When you owe the IRS

3) When you are giving birth, particularly if the baby is over 9 lbs and/or has a head as big as a three month old (**yes, I do know about this from experience**)

4) When some idiot driver does something that nearly causes you or someone else bodily harm or death

5) When you accidentally run upon a bad ass dog or even worse, a whole pack of those jokers

6) When you miss winning the lottery by one number

7) When someone is REALLY hitting your spot (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, LOL)

8) When you see another war widow, parent or loved one being passed an American flag

9) When your computer crashes

10) When you're suffering from a monster of a backache or a toothache

11) When someone you despise has outdone him/herself in being a royal pain in the a$$

12) When you can't stop dry heaving

13) When you're standing naked and alone in front of a full length mirror

Well, what the !&@$ are you waiting for? If you have something to add, by all means, be my guest (smile).

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #20 . . . 13 ARETHA FAVORITES . . .

Aretha Franklin is another one of those artists who has produced so many great songs over the years, you hardly know where to start. The following are SOME of my favorite Queen of Soul songs. Feel free to add one or two of your own Aretha favorites in the comments, but try to mention something other than "Respect" (LOL).

1) A Natural Woman (You Make Me Feel Like) / 1967

2) Make It With You / 1971 live at Filmore West version

3) Day Dreaming / 1972

4) Dr. Feelgood / 1967

5) Chain of Fools / 1967

6) Rock Steady / 1971

7) Call Me / 1970

8) I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You) / 1967

9) Do Right Woman-Do Right Man / 1967

10) Don't Play That Song / 1971 Live at Filmore West version

11) Spirit In The Dark / 1971 duet with Ray Charles that appeared on the "Aretha: Live at Filmore West" album/CD

12) Drown In My Own Tears / 1967

13) Baby, Baby, Baby / 1967

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #19 . . . 13 MUSICAL ACTS WITH MEMPHIS TIES . . .

My debut novel, After The Dance, is set in Memphis, TN and contains a number of musical references. Even though most of the acts I reference in the book aren't Memphis-based ones, I thought it might be fun to compile a list groups, singers and musicians with ties to the Memphis area. Let me know which ones you already knew and which ones you didn't.

1) Al Green (Has long made Memphis his home and also pastors a church there.)

2) Aretha Franklin (Was born in Memphis. Her father, the late Reverand C.L. Franklin, earned his degree from an institution I once attended and where I met my hubby, LeMoyne-Owen College.)

3) The Bar-Kays (Started at Memphis' Porter Jr. High School and rose to fame on the old Stax recording label.)

4) B.B. King (Got his start performing on Beale Street and was once a DJ at Memphis' own WDIA.)

5) Bobby Blue Bland (Last I heard, he lived in Germantown, a suburb of Memphis.)

6) Earth, Wind and Fire (Group leader, Maurice White once called Memphis home and if I'm not mistaken, honed his musical chops at Memphis' Booker T. Washington High School.)

7) Elvis Presley (Lived and Recorded in Memphis. His South Memphis "Graceland" home is one of the city's biggest tourist attractions.)

8) Isaac Hayes (Long made Memphis his home and once performed on the old Stax label.)

9) Kirk Whalum (Grew up in Memphis and recently moved back to the city.)

10) Otis Redding (Performed on the old Stax label, a Memphis-based record company.)

11) Rufus Thomas (Long called Memphis home, recorded for Stax and was a DJ for Memphis' WDIA.)

12) Three 6 Mafia (As much as I hate to say it, this group is a Memphis product)

13) The Sylvers (All of the big afro-wearing members of this group were born in Memphis and got their start there before they moved to Cali.)

Did you find any surprises on this list? Can you name any other musical artists with ties to Memphis, TN?

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #18 . . . 13 FAVORITE "PRINCE" SONGS . . .

Hey, you knew this post was coming, didn't you? (smile) I'm a Prince fan from WAY BACK. The following are some of my favorites, but by no means are the top 13 on my list. Matter of fact, I could have easily made a list of 20. But ranking them is much too difficult an undertaking. As it was, I left off favorites like Pop Life, 17 Days, Raspberry Beret, If I Was Your Girlfriend and 1999. But let me quit complaining and get to the list.

1) Another Lonely Christmas (b-side of I Would Die For You/1984)

2) Anotherloverholenyohead (Parade / 1984)

3) Baby I'm A Star (Purple Rain / 1984)

4) Erotic City (b-side of Let's Go Crazy / 1984)

5) Girls & Boys (Parade / 1986)

6) Head (Dirty Mind / 1980)

7) I Would Die 4 U (Purple Rain / 1984)

8) Lady Cab Driver (1999 / 1982)

9) Let's Go Crazy (Purple Rain / 1984)

10) Nothing Compares 2 U (1992)

11) Purple Rain (Purple Rain / 1984)

12) She's Always In My Hair (b-side of Raspberry Beret / 1985)

13) Thieves In The Temple (Graffiti Bridge / 1990)

Do you have a favorite Prince Song or songs? If so, go ahead and name it and claim it (or them) in the Comments.

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #17 . . . 13 FOODS THAT MAKE ME SAY "YUCK!"

We all have them, right? Come on, you know you do (smile). Okay, I'm talking about those foods that trigger your gag reflex or make you wanna cuss your Mama, or whomever it is who's insisting you eat, taste or try "just a little bit." Bleech! For my Big Guy, it's beets and Brussell sprouts. For my little one, it's creamed spinach. You'd best believe, if something, anything is nasty to this kid, inevitably, he says it tastes like creamed spinach. Personally, I don't have a problem with any of the aforementioned. But just thinking about any of the following, summons a right awful taste in my mouth . . .

1) Fig Newtons (My husband loves these. But really, don't these taste like something that got rolled in kitty litter?)

2) Pottage, Cottage . . . Okay, "Potted" Meat (This is one I've long filed under mystery meat).

3) Spam (What sick and diseased animal does this come from anyway? See above).

4) Okra (This holds the honor of being the very first food that I can ever recall making me gag.)

5) Black-Eyed Peas (Okra and Peas seem to always come together to make one big, nasty-a$$ slime fest, don't they?)

6) Liverwurst (Liver is a bile secreting organ . . . need I say more?)

7) Livercheese (You know, I think I want to hurl.)

8) Liver (Okay, by now I think it's pretty much been established that anything with the word "liver" in it gets a pass from me.)

9) Cottage Cheese (I won't even put this in my lasanga. For me, the only thing more disgusting than eating it--is watching someone else do so. Bleech!

10) Grape Fruit (I say we vote this bitter, sour imposter right out of the fruit family.)

11) Watergate Salad (My mom loves to make this marshmallow, fruit and whipped cream-filled, multi-colored concoction and my hubby is generally the first to fix himself a big bowl. I, on the other hand, consider this little more than sweet and chunky cottage cheese with a bit of food coloring tossed in a sly attempt to fool the eye.)

12) Ground Turkey (I had a bad experience with this once. Rather than share any of the gross details, I'll just say it's not an experience I'd wish on my worse enemy.)

13) Egg Nog (There's not enough liquor in the world to make me want to drink this. Actually, I highly suspect this is cottage cheese that's been pureed with buttermilk, which, for the record, I can't stand either.)

Okay, your turn. Which foods consistently turn your stomach? I'm saying, let's all be grossed out together . . .

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN # 16 . . . 13 GUILTY PLEASURES . . .

1) Tyson Beckford Calendars (For those of you who don't know, he's a pretty boy model. Hey, even a old girl has to have a little beefcake every now and then.)

2) Godiva Turtles (The hubby likes buying these for me on special occasion even though we both know they go straight to the hips and thighs.)

3) Girl Scout Cookies (Thin Mints and Trefoils. Need I say more?)

4) The Best of Soul Train (Yes, WGN shows old episodes of the program on Saturday afternoon. It's nice to revist those days when folks really danced rather than simulated various positions from the Karma Sutra.)

5) Oprah (I don't care what y'all say. Opie is all right by me. The best thing about living in Charlotte is that her show comes on twice--at 4pm and 9pm.)

6) General Foods Coffee (The Hazelnut Belgian is actually the only coffee I'll drink at the moment)

7) Men with Facial Hair (Don't ask. It's a fetish.)

8) Head Gear (I'm a hat, cap and scarf kind of gal. And there's nothing more I love than a guy who knows how to sport a tilted brim.)

9) Arbor Mist (Yeah, it's cheap, fruity and ghetto as all get out. So, is that, like, a problem?)

10) Lavender (Lotion, body wash, candles, shampoo, air freshners, doesn't matter. I just love the scent.)

11) Black Sitcoms from Back In the Day (Martin, A Different World, Cosby, Sanford & Son. Half the mess passing for such now, makes my head hurt.)

12) VH1 SOUL (I love R & B and hiphop music videos. Actually, it's the way I prefer to hear most new music. Sadly, Charlotte doesn't offer this as a cable option. Now, I have to wait unitl I'm in Memphis in order to partake or go with the Music Choice Channels where I can listen, but don't get the videos. Sheesh!

13) Blue Bell Ice Cream (They didn't sell this in Cleveland, so I was denied the pleasure for four, long years. Even though you have to search, you can find it in Charlotte. The home-made vanilla tastes nearly as good as grandma's.)

I have a long list of others, but since it's Thursday 13 . . . So do we share any guilty pleasures? No (smile). Well, do you have any as odd as mine? If so, do you dare share them?

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #15 . . . 13 OF MY FAVORITE "BEST OF" & "GREATEST HITS" MUSIC COLLECTIONS . . .

This list didn't come easy. I have a ton of "best of" & "greatest hits" cds from a variety of musical genres. In order to simplify the task, I decided to take my hard-core "jazz" and "blues" collections off the table altogether. So here we go and in no particular order-- a short list of SOME of my favorite "best of" and "greatest hits" music collections.

1) PRINCE (Prince: The Hits/The B-Sides) 4 favorite cuts: Erotic City, Let's Go Crazy, Head & Purple Rain

2) STEELY DAN (The Definitive Collection) 3 favorite cuts: Peg, Deacon Blues & Rikki Don't Lose That Number

3) ARETHA FRANKLIN (Aretha's Best) 5 fav cuts: A Natural Woman, Rock Steady, Call Me, Day Dreaming & I Never Loved A Man

4) MARVIN GAYE (The Best of Marvin Gaye: Vol 2. The '70s) 3 fav cuts: Trouble Man, Come Get To This & Inner City Blues

5) AVERAGE WHITE BAND (Pickin' Up The Pieces: The Best Of Average White Band) 2 fav cuts: School Boy Crush & Cut The Cake

6) LENNY KRAVITZ (Lenny Kravitz Greatest Hits) 2 fav cuts: Again & Heaven Help

7) BOBBY MCFERRIN (The Best of Bobby McFerrin: The Blue Note Years) 2 fav cuts: Freedom Is A Voice & Friends

8) PHYLLIS HYMAN (The Legacy of Phyllis Hyman) 3 fav cuts: Betcha by Golly, Wow, Old Friend & Living All Alone

9) CHIC (The Best of Chic: Dance, Dance, Dance) 3 fav cuts: Good Times, Everybody Dance & I Want Your Love

10) JOHNNIE TAYLOR (Johnnie Taylor: The Twenty Greatest Hits) 3 fav cuts: I Believe In You, Cheaper To Keep Her & We're Getting Careless With Our Love

11) TEENA MARIE (Teena Marie: Greatest Hits) 3 fav cuts: Square Biz, Behind The Groove & Portuguese Love

12) LUTHER VANDROSS (Always & Forever: The Classics) 3 fav cuts: Superstar/Until You Come Back To Me, Anyone Who Had A Heart, & I (Who Have Nothing)

13) THE ISLEY BROTHERS (The Essential Isley Brothers) 5 fav cuts: That Lady, Harvest For The World, Summer Breeze, Fight The Power & The Pride

What are your favorite "best of" and/ or "greatest hits" music collections? Feel free to name them, even if they didn't make my list.

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #14 . . . 13 THINGS I'D LIKE TO SEE LESS OF IN 2008 . . .

1) BOOTLEG DVDS (As an artist, this pratice truly offends me. I don't buy, watch or listen to bootleg products when I can help it. Now, if Shay-Shay and 'Nem have got it running on full blast down at the hair salon, there's not much I can do about it. But I'm not trying to cut into another artist's profits when and if I can help it.)

2) IGNORANT A$$ MOVIES (particularly those aimed at the African American audience. If these went straight to bootleg, I'd be more than happy.)

3) BRITNEY SPEARS' BARE COOCHIE AND/OR NAKED A$$ (Apparently, "Oops, I did it again" as in left the durn house without undies, is this poor child's freaking theme song. I can only hope she got a year's supply of clean drawers for Christmas.)

4) SYMBOLS OF RACIAL HATRED (All y'all out there tying nooses, putting on blackface, dressing up like stereotypes and calling it big fun need to grow the hell up and get a life.)

5) BOOKS WITH WORDS LIKE PIMP, PLAYA, HO', THUG, TRICK, THONG OR GANGSTA IN THE TITLE (Sorry, no offense intended, really. Were I on lockdown, trying to work the stroll or the pole, I just might find this kind of mess entertaining, but I'm not and I don't.)

6) ANNA NICOLE STORIES (Dang, the poor woman and her son are dead and buried. Can't we just let them rest in peace already?)

7) REALITY SHOWS (Some of this mess is about as entertaining as watching a fat kid pick his nose and at the rate we're going, I'm pretty sure something along those lines will hit the networks soon.)

8) CHEATING A$$ ATHLETES, COACHES AND SPORTS OFFICIALS

9) LYING A$$ POLITICIANS

10) ANOREXIC (NO A$$) STARLETS

11) MURDER

12) POVERTY

13) ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION COMMERCIALS (Why it's acceptable to run 15 different, loud, lengthy (no pun intended) and incredibly annoying erectile dysfunction commercials in prime time, but not a single condom ad is truly beyond me.)

So what are you hoping to see less of in 2008? Is there anything on my list you strongly agree or disagree with?

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN#13 . . . 13 REASONS TO BUY MY BOOK . . . AFTER THE DANCE . . .

Yeah, I know. Shameless self-promotion, right? Well, at least I'm doing it over here in my own little spot and not junking up your in-box with it (smile). So humor me, all right? Officially, the book (After The Dance) doesn't make its debut in bookstores until April of 2008, which gives you plenty of time to at least give it some thought. So anyway, if you were going to buy my book, which one of following just might work for you?

1) If you pre-order now from Amazon, you'll get a really great discount. (Cheap is good, right? Okay, except when it comes to husbands, dates, boob-jobs and cars.)

2) You're in need of a new doorstop. (Can you say "multi-purpose?")

3) You feel sorry for me. (Hey, it worked for Sanjaya of American Idol fame.)

4) You enjoy my Thursday 13's. (Same kind of humor, slightly different format.)

5) You want to be among the first to trash it. (Okay, Mom if this works for you, what can I say?*smile*)

6) You typically enjoy romantic comedies. (Yes, wedged between the snarkiness and the over the top humor, there's actually an honest-to-goodness love story.)

7) You'll do anything to get me to shut up talking about it. (Hey, if you buy two or more, you won't hear another dang peep outta me.)

8) You routinely support new authors. (Okay, I've been around for a while, but this is my first book.)

9) You're curious to see how or if I pulled it off. (I am talking about the book . . . it's not even that kind of party.)

10) You're in the mood for a fun read. (No, it ain't all that deep.)

11) You're in need of an inexpensive gift. (Really, at $15.oo, it's practically a steal.)

12) You're a fan of music from the old school. (Old school, rules y'all! And there's plenty of it in my book.)

13) You want to be counted among the first to give it a thumbs up. (All joking aside, I am hoping that at least a few folks will enjoy my first full-length literary offering.)

Thanks for the indulgence. In today's competitive marketplace, a girl has to hawk her wares every chance she gets. At least that's what the publishing folks keep telling me (smile).

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #10 . . . 13 PEOPLE WHO COULD VERY WELL STAY AT HOME THIS THANKSGIVING

1) The well-intentioned, but obviously clueless relative who insists on bringing the same nasty a$$ dish every year that nobody wants to eat.

2) The uncle who, instead of saying grace, delivers a ten-minute, mini-sermon.

3) The auntie who always smells like a right lethal combination of bourbon and Bengay.

4) The relative who insists on talking non-stop and in full detail about everybody's medical ailments, health issues, treatments and operations.

5) The greedy a$$ cousins who never bring anything, but eat like field hands and lumberjacks and take two and three foil-wrapped plates home.

6) The sticky-fingered relative you have to stop at the door and pat down and/or wand before he/she leaves.

7) The sticky-fingered relative's shifty-eyed friend, who you highly suspect may be casing your place and planning to come back later.

8) The dear old uncle who generally smells like a right rank combo of moldy, wet tobacco and burnt garlic.

9) The big-mouthed relative who, when he's not bragging about his exploits is telling the same lame, boring a$$ stories/lies he tells every year.

10) The kindly neighbor with the 25 house cats, dogs and/or rats who always wants to drop by with a homemade dish.

11) The sweet, little ole aunt who criticizes your every dish while steadily stuffing her face.

12) The bad a$$ kids or drunk male relatives who go into your bathroom and aim at everything, but the freaking commode.

13) The so-called good friend who only wants to come over so he/she can laugh at all of the fools in your crazy a$$ family.

Any comments or additions? If so, bring 'em on (smile)!

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN #9 . . . 13 THINGS NO WOMAN EVER WANTS TO HEAR AT THE END OF A ROMANTIC EVENING . . .

1) Okay, now what did you say your name was again?

2) Yeah, so after I'm finished with my probation . . .

3) Don't worry, the itching and burning doesn't last long . . .

4) Darn, I'm kind of low on cash. You think you could let me borrow (or loan me . . . or let me hold . . .)

5) No, seriously, the trailer . . . (or room in my parents' basement or the tricked-out mini-van, etc.) has a really nice hot tub . . .

6) My phone? Oh, that's just the wife calling to see where I am . . .

7) Oops, sorry, but I think it mighta broke . . .

8) You wanna come over? Mama and her dogs (or her cats or her ferrets or her goats or her ______ **you fill in the blank**) are generally fast asleep by now . . .

9) Funny, the woman I went out with last night said the exact same thing . . .

10) Soon as I get the flea (or the tick or the roach or the _____ ** fill in your vermin of choice **) infestation taken care of, I'll invite you over . . .

11) Did I ever tell you about the time I was on Jerry Springer? (or Maury Povich or Cops or Cheaters or _______ ** fill in your ignorant show of choice**)

12) Okay, I know it looks bad, but I'm really not all that contagious . . .

13) Holy crap! I think you mighta broke it . . .

Well, that's my list (smile). All comments and/or additions are welcome.

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THURSDAY THIRTEEN . . . 13 INTERNET PET PEEVES . . . Don't act like I'm the only one. Everyone has them, right? The following are some of my pet peeves when it comes to the internet.

1) Sites chocked so full of ads, graphics, photos and the like, they take forever to upload/download . . . Hey, give me a break, you know what I'm trying to say *smile* (In case you didn't know, not all of us have, want or can afford high speed internet).

2) Religious chain letters that attempt to blackmail you into salvation. You know, the "if you don't send this to 33 people in the next 33 minutes, 33 of your teeth are gonna rot" or some other such nonsense. (Does salvation made by way of threat or under duress really even count?)

3) The Nigerian Chain Letter (Come on, Dr. Josc, Mr. Abdoul and all the rest of y'all. Do you really think I was born yesterday? There is no 22.5 million dollars and I am not your dear friend. So, get a new hustle and stop freaking emailing me.

4) Dead, Broken or Unworkable Links (Okay, I must confess--I too have been guilty of this. )

5) Bloggers who respond to everyone's comments except yours. (Dag, it's like that, huh? Well, I'll just take my jacks and go play somewhere else.)

6) People who "reply" to "all" by email when they really only intend for one specific person to see the message. ( May you all be sentenced to an Email 101 Refresher Course.)

7) Pop-ups that sneak by your pop-up blocker. (Grrr!)

8) People who expect you to respond promptly to their emails, but refuse to extend you the same courtesy. (That's all right Mom. What goes around, comes around. Just kidding*smile*).

9) Huge links that take forever to download. (Really, sometimes smaller is better . . . ).

10) Sites with hideous color combinations--like pink on black, or black on purple . . . (Dag, I'm blind enough as it is. Pretty soon I'm gonna have to start wearing my 3D movie glasses everytime I sit down in front of the screen).

11) Bloggers who take themselves way too seriously. (Lighten up and laugh sometimes, why don'tcha? Life is way too short).

12) Forwarded emails, letters, poems, warnings purportedly penned by some authority figure, government official, slave master or Maya Angelou. (Stop the madness people).

13) Folks who pull/fish your name from a group email in order to send you advertising material and/or spam. (Class, can you say, "Tacky?!" Thank you class.)

Okay, did I miss any? Are there others you'd like to mention? Go ahead and vent, why don'tcha? I just did.

***A FEW LATE ADDITIONS***When you finish here, hop over to Artventuring and check out Michelle's "13 Life Frustrations We All Share." Also, Malcolm posted a list of "13 Films That Spawned Short-Lived Series" on his blog Pop Culture Dish.