1) DON'T send your kid out to knock on doors until you've first taught him/her proper Halloween etiquette. "Give me some candy!" and "Is that all you've got? are not acceptable subsititutes for "Trick or treat! and "Thank you."
2) If you're 13 years old or older and you're thinking about knocking on my door and asking for candy . . . DON'T . . . unless you're looking to be embarrassed or have the police called on your behind.
3) If you're thinking about letting little Ashley dress up like Peaches the stripper or Kitty the call girl and calling it a costume . . . DON'T! That mess is SO NOT cute.
4) If you forgot to buy candy, DON'T try to subsitute those stale mints and those dried up sticks of gum that have been sitting in the bottom of your purse or in that dusty bowl in the living room forever. That's just nasty . . . and trifling.
5) If you're one of those anti-sugar freaks, DON'T pass out toothbrushes and dental floss--sheesh, just turn out the lights and keep your durn door shut.
6) DON'T send your child up to my house clutching one of those big, green, 30-gallon sized trash bags, unless he/she is pretending to be a sanitation worker. It's Halloween folks, not garbage pick-up day.
7) If you're sitting in the house in your drawers, getting your drank on, when the door bell rings, do us all a favor and just DON'T answer it.
8) DON'T pass out candy you had left over from Valentine's Day or worse yet, last Halloween.
9) If you notice that my porch light and all of my house lights are OUT or I've got a big a$$ neon sign on my door that says, NO CANDY HERE!" DON'T bother to knock or ring my freaking doorbell.
10) If you see me out trick or treating with my kid, DON'T jump out the bushes and holler "Boo!" unless you're looking to get clubbed, maced or possibly even shanked. Mama DON'T even play that.
11) If your religious beliefs prevent you from participating in Halloween, DON'T spoil it for the others folks/heathens who do, by passing out prayer cards, verses from Revelations or communion wafers.
12) If there's a thunderstorm or a blizzard or the weather man says there's a tornado, hurricane or a freaking tsunami in the immediate vicinity, please DON'T show up at my door trying to trick or treat.
13) DON'T send your child out door-to-door on Halloween without a costume or at least some make-up. That's not trick or treating folks, that's just plain ole begging.
Okay, did I just about cover them all? Are there any others you'd like to add? (LOL)
13 comments:
Wonderful advice for Halloween. I'll keep these tips in mind. Thanks. Great TT!
Great safety tips! We usually hand out candy since we don't have kids, we don't go out.
Great advice!! THanks!
Those were great tips.....if only I had kids! Happy TT!
Redux or not, that contains some very good advice.
I bought a bog bag of Reese's today so I'm ready for the little extortionists, I mean Halloween kids, on Friday!
OMG, I'm laughing my patootie off! I'm with you all the way and I posted #11 in my tips for adults at the end of my TT on My 13 Favorite Halloween Trick or Treat Candies from Days Past!
How funny - we were thinking along the same lines!
Thanks for the etiquette lesson you sent out to all those Halloween Party Poopers!
Happy TT and Happy Halloween! (still laughing!)
lol regarding #1 and please tell me that no one has ever said that...Happy TT.
I wish eveyrone would read these. Last year, when we would open the door for trick or treaters, they would even say trick or treat. They just held out their bags. I started getting kind of snotty to them.
SOund advice. Happy Halloween!
Growing up, my dentist was a family friend, he gave out toothbrushes and floss on Halloween and was surprised no one came to his house!
Happy halloween.
nice tips! i'll remember that. thanks for sharing. mine is up too :)
Sound advise! Haha. I miss going house to house myself. :)
Happy TT and happy Halloween!
Yep, you have to say, "Trick or Treat", and you have to have a costume. Happy Halloween!
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