Monday, February 09, 2009

The Latest Entertainment Nonsense . . . In The News . . .

Chris Brown vs. Rihanna

Last night it was reported that Chris Brown was being pursued for questioning about an alleged assault against an unidentified woman. Rumor has it that the woman in question is his girlfriend, Rihanna.

My first thought when I heard this was, Dag, Ole Boy obviously skipped the chapter in the Thug Handbook that advises against striking Light-Skinned women (ditto White women) upside the head. Sheesh, y'all know we bruise easily! Being a member of the Light-Skinned tribe himself, you'd think Mr. Brown would already know this.

All joking aside, hopefully this will serve as a lesson to young Chris that striking a woman, any woman isn't a route he wants to take, unless he's looking to emulate the careers of folks Ike Turner or OJ, both of whom could have readily advised him about the Thug Handbook's Light-Skinned/White woman beat-down rules . . .

Michael Phelps vs. The Richland County South Carolina Sheriff

Okay, so a picture materalizes of Mr. Phelps taking a hit off a bong and now the sheriff in Richland County, South Carolina where the incident allegedly took place wants to press charges. Yeah, right. I mean seriously, I could see if the boy got caught sucking on a crack pipe or snorting something up his nose, shooting something into his veins or standing on a corner dealing. But this just seems pretty doggone trivial to me.

If South Carolina is anything like North Carolina (where I currently reside), then drunk driving is pretty much a daily local news item. I don't know if it's that whole Dukes of Hazard NASCAR mentality or what. But every other day it seems, some drunk fool is driving down the wrong side of the road, crashing into trees, rolling down embankments or worse yet, causing accidents that result in serious injury or death to other drivers, passengers and or pedestrians.

If law enforcement officials in the Carolinas are looking to crack down on drug use and abuse, why not start with all of these speeding drunk a$$ drivers who get these laughably light sentences? In any case, I'm pretty sure the good citizens of Richland County have bigger issues in need of addressing, say like Umemployment. Poverty. Racism. Real Crime.

It's also rather interesting how your average citizen or celebrity can be charged with a crime on the basis of a photo, but you can have twenty minutes worth of video footage of a cop beating the hell out of somebody and somehow, that's not enough proof for conviction. Anyway . . .

The Octuplets Mom (Nadya Sulema) vs Anybody With A Sound Mind

Okay, from the looks of things, homegirl has some serious issues. When I heard that she'd received disability compensation after being injured in a riot that took place in psychiatric facility, my first thought was Well, that explains everything. During the riot she obviously hit her head on something . . .

As I watched an excerpt from the interview she did with Ann Curry, I said to my husband, "In addition to being coo-coo for Coco Puffs, I think homegirl has had a wee bit too much plastic surgery." Really, something about her nose and her lips just didn't seem right. She looked like a mangled cross between Lil Kim, Michael Jackson and some sort of feral feline, the latter of which might account for her incomprehensible desire to give birth to a litter. Sure enough, since my first sighting of Ms. Suleman others have suggested she's gone under the knife a time or two and may possibly be suffering from some sort of Angelia Jolie complex.

Etta James vs Beyonce

You know, I really can't blame Ms. James for being upset about not receiving an invitation to sing "her song" at the inauguration. I'm sure she felt like she'd been overlooked, yet again. But her rant against Beyonce was a bit much.

No disrespect intended, but while listening to Ms. James' spiel, I couldn't help but think about those women I'd sometimes see in those dark, smoky cafes one of my grandmothers used to work in. I'm talking about those women who'd be sitting and nodding at a table by themselves, with a crooked wig on their heads, a cigarette in their mouths and a half-empy forty on the table in front of them. Some of the stuff that came out of their mouths would bring tears to your eyes (smile).

5 comments:

pjazzypar said...

You are crazy! Let me start with Ms. James first,"At Last" is definitely her song and although she says she was kidding, I really don't believe it. Someone else said she might have been drinking and it does seem that way. Oh and for your edification, there were no forties in those days. There were 32 ounce bottles referred to as "Jumbos":-)

The bong incident IS trivial. The eight babies mama is just plain NUTS. I don't know what the hell Chris Brown is thinking (and the night before the Grammy Awards no less) putting his hands on a woman. I thought he was a cool little dude, now I have to rethink my position and I hate when that happens.

Lori said...

Hey PJ,
Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be making fun of these folks, right? LOL. But hey, I'm pretty sure those were forty ounces (smile). My granny worked in a cafe until the late '80s/early '90s. The stories I could tell you . . . LOL

Sharon J said...

I hope Chris Brown gets some counseling. Apparently,he grew up in a very abusive home. Etta, Michael and Nadya need brain transplants. Very funny blog!

Nikki said...

The hardest thing for me, is having to explain the Chris Brown arrest to my little cousins who adore him. They are having tough time trying to come to terms with the fact that he hit Rihanna.

Lori said...

@Sharon,
I too hope Mr. Brown gets the help he needs. He's young enough to get himself together and come back out strong. I'd first like to see him issue a public apology to Rihanna and his fans.

@Nikki,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Hopefully in time, Chris will use this experience to help his young fans avoid such violent and self-destructive behavior. I'm praying, eventually, something good will come out of this.