NOMADLAND for the WIN!!!

I was hoping Nomadland would win for Best Picture.  The fact that it was based on a non-fiction title was a nice surprise (yes, another must-read for my collection) and probably accounted for it’s documentary-like feel.  Frances McDormand was wonderful as “Fern.” I’ve been enjoying her on-screen performances since HBO’s “Olive Kitteridge.”  McDormand’s female protagonists typically bring something other than their looks or sex appeal to the story, which is always a plus.

But what I enjoyed most about Nomadland was that it had the audacity to tell a woman’s story without allowing her to be mentally destroyed, physically hurt or killed in the process.  Fern was independent, adventurous, free-spirited and outspoken.  Typically, women like her don’t fare well on the screen.  It’s almost an unspoken or unwritten rule that such a woman will have to be shown having to pay for the crime of operating in the world, like a free woman with agency (you know, like men do most of the time). 

I promise you, I sat through that whole movie waiting for the moment when she’d be made to pay in the form of some sort of assault--whether sexual or physical--for having the gall to be a woman who called the shots in her life without answering to anyone.  At the movie’s end, I was shocked, relieved and to be honest--somewhat overjoyed that she’d survived without being harmed or stripped of her dignity.  I also knew at that moment that a smart, creative and talented woman must have been behind the making of the film.

I’m thrilled for Chole Zhao!  I can’t wait to see her next film and I truly hope she continues to be different and daring in her portrayals of woman.  For me, Nomadland was truly a refreshing and welcome change of pace. 

Violence Against Women . . . A Few Righteous Responses . . .

Granted, my own first response to the alleged Chris Brown & Rihanna beat-down was a glib one and in full keeping with my "sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying" take on life.

But I do consider violence against women very much a serious matter. When it comes to the aformentioned incident, the apathetic, callous and "she must have done something to deserve it" type of responses I've heard from so many young women, young women of color in particular, truly saddens me.

Even Rihanna's own alleged response to the alleged attack defies what I was raised to view as common sense and sound logic. Okay . . . so you find hard-cold evidence that ole boy has been cheating on you and when you call him out on his low-down, ho-ish, trifling behavior, his response is to go outside your head--choking, biting, punching and all of that . . . But after filing a police report and suffereing through the pain and humilation of seeing both your story and your own bruised and swollen mug flashed across tabloids and TV screens across the nation within days you're laid back up with the fool?!

Umm, with all due respect, that's NOT love baby-girl, that's madness . . . on his part and yours. And to quote Biggie, if I might, "If you don't know, now you know."

Of course being a woman ( and a Black woman at that), I've lived long enough to know my opinion doesn't count for squat. Like a lot of intelligent women (Black, White or Other), I've had the experience (one too many times) of voicing an opinion in a group setting and seeing it nixed or ignored, only to have a man turn around and give voice to the exact same idea and have his opinion heralded as the truth, the way and the light . . . yeah, go figure. LOL

So, I'm thrilled that a few male media types like Kevin Powell and Ed Gordon have been vocal about domestic violence and the abuse of women and young girls. Not only has journalist Ed Gordon been brave enough to speak on the issue (see here), but he's also spear-headed an initiative called, Daddy's Promise, which encourages men to nurture their daughters and to be active participants in their lives. Big Ups to both Mr. Powell and Mr. Gordon for being willing to step up, speak out and do something about such an important issue.

WOMEN, MARRIAGE AND THE BONE DENSITY FACTOR . . .

No, this is not a post about osteoporosis. It is a post about bones . . . more specifically spines or, perhaps, I should say . . . the lack thereof.

I guess, I just don't get it--you know--the whole "publicly standing by my man" bit, particularly when said "man" has not only broken his marriage vows, but made a Zip-Dang-Fool of himself to boot.

Why after being duped by said Zip-Dang-Fool would any woman, owning so much as an ounce of self-respect left, turn around and let Zip D. Fool drag her before the public so He can apology for His transgressions? Yes, I am referring to women like Effie Barry, Suzanne Craig, Carlita Kilpatrick, Silda Spitzer and all of the others . . .

Okay, I do understand and respect folks going off privately to work on their marriage/relationship/issues and the like. I've been married a long time--long enough to have high school age kids, actually, even though I don't. I know it's all about compromise, learning to take the good with the bad and operating in a spirit of forgiveness. I'm not about to hate or cast aspersions on any woman or man who ultimately decides she/he wants to stay with Zippy, put the transgressions behind them and move forward. Tor err is human. Now, to make the dang same err over and over and over again, is, well, you know . . .

I'm just saying, after the dirt's been done, why parade the Mrs. out to hold Mr. Fool's hand, pat his back and stand by his side? For the career? Heck, seems to me Zip should have thought about that before he unzipped . . . For the children? Please. I think, in the long-run, children are better served by having a Mama with a back-bone.

Really, I just wish more of these ladies would just say, "No, I'm not going out there!" Tell ole boy, "Okay, we can work on our issues, but after having already abused me and my trust, I'm simply not going to let you use me in this fashion."

I'm sure there will be others, but if I could say anything to them it would be "Stop drinking the Kool-Aid! Really, it ain't nothing, but poison, the type of which will eat your soul, if you let it. Instead, why not go get yourself a big, tall glass of milk, put your big girl panties on and see if you can't sing a few bars of Beyonce's "To The Left?" I bet it would make you feel a whole lot better.

(Written while listening to Erykah Badu's "The Healer" "Master Teacher" "Honey" and Aretha's "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" and "Respect."

WOMEN WHO'VE AGED . . . GRACEFULLY . . .

The topic of this post was inspired by none other than Ms. Ruby Dee, who really should have been honored with an Oscar the other night. No, I didn't see her performance in American Gangster nor the performances of any of the the other actresses she was up against. I mean, really, does it matter? Very seldom is that stuff is ever assessed fairly or based on any degree of real talent anyway (LOL).

Folks have been overlooking Ms. Ruby Dee (aka Mother Sister) for a long-time. At least since, A Raisin In The Sun I'd dare say. A big ups goes to Spike Lee for bringing her and her late hubby Ossie Davis back into the forefront and the big screen, via movies like Do The Right Thing and Jungle Fever.

But anyway, getting back to the topic, there's nothing that inspires me more than to see a woman, like Ms. Ruby Dee, who has aged gracefully. 'Cause y'all know, there are a lot ole girls out here who seem to be doing their darnedest to accomplish the exact opposite. No, I'm not trying to name any names. Please! And get myself put on somebody's hit list? Ah, no thank you (LOL).

Besides, I'd much rather stay on this side of positive and concentrate on those ladies who I think are still working it with class, style, beauty and grace. You may or may not agree with some of my choices. But feel free to add you own or comment on some of my pics. So, in no particular order . . .

1) Ruby Dee (Keep representing, Ms. Dee!)

2) Nancy Wilson (Yes, ma'am, now this is how I want to go gray.)

3) Sophia Loren (I do believe the hubby still has heart palpitations whenever he spies Ms. Loren. I know he can barely watch any of her old flicks without salivating.)

4) Rita Moreno (Makes me want to go find my copy of Westside Story and then slap somebody.)

5) Toni Morrison (Ms. Morrison can rock those dreads, can't she?)

6) Racquel Welch (I saw her on some show recently and could barely believe my eyes. All I could think was: Now, I know she is old as dirt. How is this possible?!)

7) Diahann Carroll (Gotta love Whitley and Preston Burke's mama, don't you? LOL!)

8) Judy Pace (Many of you may not remember Ms. Pace, whose hey-day was in the '70s. But I saw a picture of her in Jet, not long ago, and she doesn't look like she's aged a bit.)

9) Sally Fields (I think she just might be sipping from the fountain of youth.)

10) Barbara Streisand (Age has actually softened her looks, I think.)

11) Patti LaBelle (I'm pretty sure Ms. Patti has had some "work" done, but I swear she looks younger now than she did when she was with the group LaBelle.)

12) Priscilla Presley (I almost didn't put Ms. Presley on the list. I can tell she's had some "work" done fairly recently and if she's not careful she may end up looking like her former son-law. But overall, ole girl has got it going on.)

13) Diana Ross (Y'all stop hating. Even if you don't like Ms. Ross, you've gotta give it to her. For her age, she still looks darn good.)

Ordinarily, I would have saved a list like this for "Thursday Thirteen." But these days, I just don't have the time to visit all of those different blogs and reciprocate in kind with comments. But don't let that make you hesistate to leave your two cents here. If you leave a remark, I will most certainly holler right back at ya (smile).