THE BUCK STOPS HERE!

 Not long ago, I shared the following on Facebook . . .

Rutting Season? (Is that sorta like Cuffing Season?)

How many of you know anything about “rutting season”?  I’d never heard the term until last Friday when my morning walk was interrupted by the appearance of a buck. Yeah, you know, a male deer (aka those jokers with those horns on their heads).  Given that it was barely 7:30 in the morning, and kind of overcast, I blinked a couple of times to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.  Yeah, it was a buck all right.  And not only was he standing in the middle of the street in front of my house, he was staring straight at me and looking right perturbed.

  

Now, had it been a doe, I might have kept right on walking towards my house.  But I’m not taking any chances with a creature that has horns growing out of its head, be it a deer, moose, elk, devil or what have you.  I’m saying,  I’ve already fallen once this year and dislocated a shoulder.  The last thing I need is to be out in the middle of the doggone street trying to throw hands with a buck, if not run from one at 7:30 in the morning.  

Can’t you hear that call to 911?  “Um, yeah one of my neighbors--a tall, middle-aged Black woman, who looks like she could stand to lose a few pounds-- is rolling around in the street with what appears to be a deer.  Yes, and you’d better hurry.  Looks like the deer has her in a headlock.”

So, after hurriedly backtracking to the corner, I call the hubby and say, “There’s a buck standing out in front of our house.”  Instead of saying, “Hold on honey, I’m coming to get you” this man heads for the front door and starts asking a bunch of questions.  And even has the nerve to tell me he doesn’t see any dang buck and yada, yada, yada.”  I was like, “Man, if you don’t stop yacking and come and get my behind off this corner . . .”

After arriving safely back home is when I discovered that Mr. Buck was now  hanging out in our backyard and trying to woo a shy Miss Doe, who he’d obviously pursued there.  On sharing the story with my son, he was like, “Oh, so what you’re saying Ma, is that our backyard was the hook-up spot!”  Ah, yeah, whatever.  I’m not trying to have a bunch of amorous deer all up in the bushes in my backyard.  Take that mess on somewhere else. 

Anyway, since then, I’ve learned that it’s rutting season--the time of year in these parts that deer commonly mate.  So, guess who won’t be going out on her morning walk for a while?  In the meantime, I’ve added a walking stick, a can of mace and a whistle to my Christmas list.   

The screen and the blinds on the window kept me from getting a clear picture.  And you’d best believe dude (aka Mr. Buck) was straight up mean-mugging me the whole time I was trying to snap this shot.

FIGHTING BATTLES

Recently, I shared the following on my Facebook Page

Okay, so I have a problem I’d like to share in hopes that some kind soul can offer a solution.  For the past several days, I’ve been struggling to win a fight--a contest of wills, if you will, and with a most formidable opponent.  At the moment, all in my world is calm to the point of being downright peaceful. I’d like to believe that I may have unwittingly gained the upper hand. But in the past my opponent has proved both clever and agile, so I’m not totally convinced the battle is over or even close to being won.

And just who might my evil nemesis be? A chipmunk. Yeah, you heard right, I’ve been doing battle with this dang devil of a chipmunk who won’t stop digging holes in the pot of zinnias I recently planted.

So, the pot--full of potting soil-- sat undisturbed on my front porch for about a week until I finally decided to go ahead and

plant my zinnia seeds. I can’t remember if I planted the seeds before my recent trip to ATL or shortly thereafter, but I do know

this past weekend is when the showdown began.  My gardening skills are limited. So having spotted a number of little green

shoots jutting up through the soil, I was feeling pretty good about myself. But on a casual stroll past the windows adjoining

the front door, I noticed all of this dirt scattered about on the porch. A quick peek thru the window blinds confirmed my
fears--something had been messing around in my flower pot.  The hubby suggested a bird might be the culprit. A cat
or possibly a snake were my first thoughts.

Whatever it was, maybe it will go elsewhere is what I told myself as I refilled the hole the little varmint had created in the

potting soil.  Ha! The very next morning, what--or make that who do I see on the porch snuggled up next to the pot when I
peeked through the blinds--yep, ole guilty himself--Mr. Chipmunk.

“Don’t you dare!” I shouted as I snatched opened the door and watched him make a run for it.  Knowing it was only a matter

of time before he made a return visit, I did a Google search for how to chase away chipmunks and found a “cayenne pepper” solution.  Mix cayenne in some water and spray around the area.  Not only did I spray the area down with cayenne water, I sprinkled a healthy dose of red pepper flakes around the pot too. You think it worked? Ha! I’m pretty sure Mr. Chipmunk said, “Well, would you look at this.  Ole Girl was nice enough to leave out some seasoning for the zinnia seeds.” Yeah, that little joker came back and dug yet another hole, leaving dirt and little green leaves scattered everywhere.

I was standing at the door, scratching my head, cursing beneath my breath, and trying to figure out what to do next when the

folks from Best Buy pulled up with the washing machine I’d recently purchased. In hauling out the old washer and carting in

the new, the Best Buy guys adjusted front door so it would remain in the open position while they work.  Not a problem--except if Mr. Chipmunk shows up again and on spying the open door decides to slip inside and pay me a surprise visit.

In anticipation of such an occurrence,  I called my son downstairs to watch and stand guard.  ‘Cause y’all know,

if Mr. Chipmunk gets inside of my house, it’s all over with right?  Yeah, I don’t have any problems going toe-to-toe with the

little varmint outdoors, on my front porch, and even in the front yard.  But once he’s inside of my house all bets are off.

Really, he can have it, I’m saying, the house as well as any and everything of value inside, ‘cause you best believe, I will be

exiting the premises with the quickness and calling for backup in the form of the nearest pest control agency.

Fortunately, it didn’t come to that.  After the Best Buy guys left, I had my son move the flower pot to the backyard

and place it on a patio table.  A temporary solution that might buy me some time until I could think of what to do next.

Another Google search turned up a suggestion for tea tree oil.  Okay, so the next morning before I head off to the drugstore to

purchase the oil, I peek out the window off the patio and guess who I see?  Yep, Mr. Chipmunk. I kid you not, he was

hanging out near the table containing the pot of the remaining zinnias, just as big and bad as you please,
as if to say, “It’s going to take a whole lot more than that to get rid of me, girlfriend!” Lil dude was straight up selling wolf tickets, but all it took was a quick jiggle of the door to send his little butt running again.

As it stands now, I guess we are at a stalemate of sorts.  On purchasing the tea tree oil, I gave the pot of zinnias a real good

greasing.  I’m not sure if the scent alone is supposed to keep the chipmunk away or if the slipperiness of the now greased up

pot will keep him from climbing inside the container again and break-dancing around in my potting soil.  Even though it’s

been a while since I’ve seen Mr. Chipmunk or any evidence of his presence, I wouldn’t put it past him to show up again. The hubby jokingly said when he does come back, he’ll probably be accompanied by a few of his little chipmunk friends.  

All I know is that Alvin and ‘nem better keep their little furry paws off my zinnias! But if my tea tree oil doesn’t work

y’all, I’m open to suggestions--especially from those of you with green thumbs and who have successfully chased pests

from your garden (s) before.  Seriously. Thanks in advance.

Thursday Thirteen # 48 . . . 13 Facebook Fumbles, Failures & Fouls

If you're on Facebook, perhaps you'll agree with me about some of the these:

1) The Non-Stop Feature Changes Just when I think I have it all figured out, the FB administrators change the features and/or layout again. Jeez-Louise, just leave it alone already or at least keep your improvements to once a year.

2) Negative People aka Trolls If you don't like my status reports, ignore them or do us both a favor and delete me from your list of FB friends. 'Cause if the only time you ever comment on my FB status is when you want to disagree, complain or pick a fight, believe me, I will be deleting you . . .

3) Privacy Settings & Re-settings Again, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. All of the constant tinkering makes me feel even less secure.

4) The FB Folks who play deaf, dumb & blind If I ignored the invitation to join your group or be your friend/fan the first 10 weeks in a row that you asked, why are you still asking me? I’m obviously not interested, so why not show a little dignity and just stop asking already.

5) The Games I'm not interested in farming, being a zookeeper, being initiated into the Mafia or living in a sorority house (Hey, I think I just noticed a theme . . .) For those who enjoy the games, great. But fix it so the rest of us don't have to hear about all of the lost chickens, stray cows, pet monkeys, catfights, turf wars and shoot-outs.

6) People Who Write In All Caps WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SHOUTING?! Come on people, learn how to communicate on the world wide web.

7) TMDI (too much dang information) Just because we're FB friends doesn't mean I really want or need to know/see all of your business. If you're constantly talking about (or posting pics of) your dirty drawers, shady business deals, mistresses, illegal drug habits, visits to the shake 'em up clubs, bunions, hemorrhoids, etc., we won't be FB friends for very long.

8) The Bible Thumpers Okay, I love the Lord and I don't mind a bit of Scripture every now and then. But posting Bible verses and mini-sermons every hour on the hour, can get a little old after awhile.

9) The Graffiti Artists Okay, I don't mind people writing/posting on my FB wall. All I ask is that you keep it clean, PG13, sane and half-way legible.

10) Invitations Since I live in NC, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be able to make your midnight bake sale at the roller rink in Utah. So way are you even inviting me?

11) The Poke Feature Sorry, I don't get it. I don't want or like people poking me in real life . . .

12) The E-mailers If you are emailing me more than once a day or once a week, STOP. Seriously, I’m probably deleting your emails without reading them anyway.

13) People Who Only Post About What They’re Eating I’m not sure if this irritates me or just makes me hungry . . .

Well, you've heard all of my complaints, but if you still want to befriend me on Facebook, be my guest!

Lori Johnson On Facebook

If you'd like to visit other Thursday Thirteen Participants,

Start Here!

A Lil Bit of This & A Lil Bit of That . . .

Well, if you're interested, you can now check me out or befriend me on Facebook.

In anticipation of my upcoming release, A Natural Woman, my website has a brand New Look. As soon as I'm able, I'll post an excerpt.

In case you haven't already noticed, I've posted a new "Natural Hair" link category (move to the right-side of the blog and scroll down). In the coming days, I hope to add a number of other links, which deal with or cover topics associated with natural hair. If you have suggestions or favorite "natural hair" sites by all means, email me or drop me a note in the sections for comments.

In keeping with the new natural hair focus, I also plan to post a few interviews with African American women who sport natural hair styles. If you'd like to be included, let me know and I'll email you the list of questions. If you'd like to participate, but would rather not have your indentity revealed, I don't have any problems with an anonymous posting of your responses.