A Hair Conversation . . . With Pearl, The Hair Deva

Well, they say the 3rd time is the charm (smile). Pearl, The Hair Deva & I have rescheduled our conversation a couple of different times over the past few weeks. But today, unless we run into an unanticipated hitch, we'll be chatting about the movie "Good Hair," my novel, A Natural Woman and possibly a few other hair-related issues on her blog radio show, A Kinky Konversation. You can join us today, if you'd like, at 3pm central / 4pm eastern.

To learn more about Pearl and her program, click on the LINK.

Thursday Thirteen #44 . . . 13 Hairstylists & Hair Salon Pet Peeves

Not unlike, Professor Aliesha Eaton, the main character in my latest novel A Natural Woman, I've had a number of less than pleasant experiences with hairstylists and at hair salons. It is one of the primary reasons, I currently wear my own hair natural and typically do it at home. Hey, I'd rather take a chance on looking crazy, than put up with any of the following . . .

1) Music, conversation or the volume turned up so loud on a TV, I can't hear my own sighs of exasperation. (Even worse are those places where you're treated to a seemingly never-ending blend of the three).

2) The hairstylist who ignores your instructions and styles your hair the way he or she pleases ("What the heck! Now, I know I didn't come in here looking like a chicken, I'll be dang if I leave here looking like one!")

3) Those salons where I'm made to wait 30 minutes to an hour, past my scheduled appointment

4) Hairstylists who tell me WAY more than I care to know about their personal lives (Note, if you have an STD, a crack-habit, a number of crazy folks stalking you or a mole in an unusual place, do me a favor and keep that mess to yourself)

5) Those salons where I highly suspect more than half of the employees are armed, known felons or are listed on some law enforcement agency's most wanted list

6) Stylists who gossip viciously about everybody in the shop, customers and employees alike (Don't worry, I won't be telling you a d@mn thing)

7) Stylists who work on your head like they're weeding a briar patch

8) Stylists who are constantly on the phone, or who routinely hold long, drawn-out, highly animated conversations with other customers and/or hairstylists

9) Salons where arguing, cussing and fighting appear to be the norm

10) Salons where inappropriate movies are shown in color and on the big screen (Look, I am not trying to see anybody's sex tape. Not Paris Hilton's. Not R. Kelley's. Not Screech from Saved By the Bell. And most certainly not your friend or cousin Bay-Bay who lives around the way . . .)

11) Hairstylists who move to a new salon every 4-6 months. (Dang, haven't you ever heard of staying put somewhere and building up your clientele?)

12) Salons where known gang-banger types, petty thieves and girls who work the stroll (don’t act like you don’t know what stroll I’m talking ‘bout) feel free to roam the parking lot and loiter in front of the building

13) Salons where the bootleggers, street vendors and sidewalk evangelists are permitted inside to peddle their wares

Yeah I know, perhaps I need to stay outta the hood and frequent more upscale hair establishments (LOL). But I know I’m not the only one who has ever encountered these kinds of issues.

In any case, if you are a hairstylist, beautician, barber, etc. who has never seen, done or experienced any of the aforementioned, great! I’m obviously, not talking about you or where you work, so please don’t cop an attitude or be offended. In fact, feel free to leave your contact information here in the section for comments . . .

If you'd like to visit other

Thursday 13 Participants

Be My Guest!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (A. Jalani)

A. Jalani's Story

Background / I am 51 years old. I was born in Memphis, TN and have lived all of my life in the Southern States. I'm a writer and student, currently pursing a master's in fine arts.

Hairstyle / Presently, my hair is in dreadlocks. I started wearing an Afro in high school in the mid-70s. I switched to dreadlocks after my marriage in 1992.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / My high school years coincided with the latter part of the Black Arts/Black Power Movement. Though I didn't know much about The Movement back then, I was interested in it and emulated the style. Bob Marley and Rastafarians gained popularity during my post-undergraduate days and people began wearing dreadlocks. The man I eventually married was wearing locks when I met him and an old college friend helped me switch styles shortly after the wedding. I admire Bob Marley and enjoy some Reggae music. But I have never been a Rastafarian.

Support of your natural look / The folks that I refer to as my non-biological family have been most supportive.

Negative reactions / Mostly people just tend to stare. Store security sometimes act as if they expect me to steal.

Response to negative commentary / I usually just say that my mother doesn't like my hairstyle either. The implication here is that if I am not changing to appease my own mother, then I am certainly not interested in the opinion of the current speaker.

A woman with natural hair whose style you admire / Toni Morrison. She impresses me as a strong independent woman with a clear spirit and a lot of talent.

Advice for women considering a more natural hairstyle / It's more work than it seems and be prepared for peoples' attitudes towards you to change.

Additional Commentary / When I first moved to Memphis in 1985, a woman with a short afro was considered unfeminine. When dreadlocks first gained currency, many people thought that it was not possible to keep that much natural Black hair clean and that it could harbor bugs, such as ticks, especially in warm weather, which was in keeping with the belief that the kind of people who wore dreadlocks weren't that interested in personal hygiene.

There was a time when natural hairstyles were an expression of identification with African heritage and Black unity. When I first began wearing dreadlocks I knew about everybody in Memphis who wore locks, at least by sight. Now locks are everywhere, including television news, government offices, and on non-Blacks. Dreadlocks are not synonymous with Black culture anymore, but it's good to see that something so culturally specific is no longer considered a social stigma.

Definition of "A Natural Woman" / To me, a natural woman is a woman who is a useful, nurturing part of her community without letting her personal development be confined by the expectations of that community or by the larger society.

"A. Jalani's story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "A. Jalani's Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments.

Thank You!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories . . .

An Intro

"In its natural state, as far as most people are concerned, Black women's hair is unpresentable."

Asali Solomon (from her essay "Black Fuzzy Thing" which appears in Naked: Black Women Bare All About Their Skin, Hair, Hips, Lips and Other Parts)

Professor Aliesha Eaton, the protagonist in my novel, A Natural Woman, is a young Black woman whose natural hair is an integral part of the storyline. A number of different factors led me to write A Natural Woman, among them, the variety of responses my own hair has invoked during those period of my life when I've opted to wear it natural.

For the record, I'm not what some might consider a natural hair "purist" nor am I particularly interested in becoming a spokeswoman for the natural hair movement. Even though it's been over four years since I've had a chemical relaxer in my hair, on occasion, I still get it straightened--via flat-iron or an old fashioned hot comb.

Just as I whole-heartedly believe it's a woman prerogative to change her mind, I feel just as strongly about a woman's right to wear her hair any damn way she pleases. At this particular point in my life, what pleases me most days is to wear my hair in its natural state.

In the coming days, I plan to share a bit more of my own personal story, as it relates to hair and why I currently opt to wear mine natural. Joining me will be a number of other Black women who wear their hair natural and who have kindly volunteered to share their own stories.

If you are an African American woman who wears her hair natural (locs, twists, 'fro, braids, etc) and you are interested in becoming a part of this series, email me and I'll send you the list of questions. You can contact me at (after dot dance at hot mail dot com) or you can use the contact feature located on my website or the one on my blog's profile page (click on the profile link in the column to your right).

A Lil Bit of This & A Lil Bit of That . . .

Well, if you're interested, you can now check me out or befriend me on Facebook.

In anticipation of my upcoming release, A Natural Woman, my website has a brand New Look. As soon as I'm able, I'll post an excerpt.

In case you haven't already noticed, I've posted a new "Natural Hair" link category (move to the right-side of the blog and scroll down). In the coming days, I hope to add a number of other links, which deal with or cover topics associated with natural hair. If you have suggestions or favorite "natural hair" sites by all means, email me or drop me a note in the sections for comments.

In keeping with the new natural hair focus, I also plan to post a few interviews with African American women who sport natural hair styles. If you'd like to be included, let me know and I'll email you the list of questions. If you'd like to participate, but would rather not have your indentity revealed, I don't have any problems with an anonymous posting of your responses.

COLOR BLIND . . . or . . . COLOR STRUCK? (True Story) . . .

Back when I was a bright-eyed, twenty-some-year-old, college student and living in Memphis, I found myself frequenting a hair salon with a predominately-White clientele. The salon was one of those chains you typically find in a mall. Matter of fact, this one was located in what, at the time, was my favorite mall--the now demolished, though forever infamous (smile) Mall of Memphis.

Anyway, I was sporting a perm back then and I'd somehow lucked up on a fella at this particular salon who could give me that hot, poofed-out look all the PYT's were sporting in the '80s. So one day, I'm there sitting under the dryer (possibly getting a conditioner, I can't recall) when the older White lady seated next to me strikes up a conversation.

No biggie right? Happens all the time in salons across America, I'm sure. But hold on, this one was a little bit different. This lady, bless her lil ole heart, starts in on how she loves my color.

"Oh my, I just absolutely love your color! I'd give anything to be able to tan like that."

With the salon music blaring (Duran, Duran, no doubt) in the background and the dryer humming on full blast, it takes me a few seconds to process the information and to realize, okay, wait, she thinks I'm . . .

I've barely finished the thought when she smiles ever so sweetly and asks, "So are you Greek? Jewish? Italian?"

Okay, granted, I'm a card-carrying member of the light-skinned tribe. I have a tendency to wash out in pictures and grow pale in the winter-time. And, sure, my perm-straightened head was tucked inside of a dryer. But I'm sorry, the nose is a dead-give away. Till this day, how anyone could ever mistake me for anything other than a person of African descent, truly boggles my mind.

In any case, I smile ever so sweetly back at her and say, "No ma'am, actually, I'm African American."

The sweet little old lady's smile disappears and for the remainder of our stints beneath our respective dryers, she doesn't utter so much as another word in my direction. Go figure (LOL).

(Written while listening to Aretha Franklin's "Rock Steady," "I Say A Little Prayer," and "Think.")