Thursday Thirteen #31 . . . 13 Dog Types I Would/Have/Might Consider Owning . . .

I'm not a "dog person," but like the members of the next First Family, I may soon find myself sharing quarters with one. Sigh. My son and the hubby have their hearts set on some BIG a$$, hairy, stank-breath dog. Black Labs. Golden Retrievers. German Shepards, etc. My typical response to suggestions of this type are, "hell no" "have you lost your fricking mind?" and "forget about it."

Truth be known, my dog of preference would be a cat. (LOL) I like cats. I know cats. Cats use the litter box. Ordinarily, they don't suffer from chronic halitosis or enjoy rolling in their own poo. But since owning a cat is out of the question (the hubby is allergic), and I know I'm going to be the primary caretaker of said dog, I've drawn up a list of canines I would (have or might) consider owning.

1) Invisible (I mean really, wouldn't this be ideal? Can't we just all pretend?)

2) Stuffed (I'm saying, imagine the flexibility that comes with this choice. No barking. No shedding. No vet bills. No huge mounds of crap in the yard . . .)

3) Puppy (Okay, in all honesty, I've yet to meet the puppy I didn't like. If only they didn't eventually grow up to be big, stank breath dogs . . .)

4) From a pound or animal shelter (I do very much like the idea of rescuing some lost or abandoned or ill-fated pooch.)

5) Jack Russell (If I'm doomed to own a dog, I'd prefer a smart one. These dogs have always struck me as highly intelligent.)

6) Rat Terrier (This fits my preference for something small and cute. I'd actually be open to owning two of these, but the hubby appears to have a strong bias against any animal with the word "rat" in its name.)

7) Any short-haired Terrier (Have you noticed a theme or pattern yet? LOL)

8) Mutt (I've heard mixed bred-dogs have the best dispositions. And while I could easily live with a neurotic cat, co-habitating with a nut-case for a dog is out of the question.)

9) Beagle (I think this would make for a good compromise. It's not too big, not too small and they seem halfway intelligent, I mean for a dog.)

10) Hunting Dog/Pointer (My grandfather hunts and has always owned a hunting dog or two. So, I kind of know what to expect from this breed and they appear to have a fairly decent temperament.)

11) Chihuahua (Once upon a time, I didn't really like this type of dog. As a child, all the ones I ever saw were bug-eyed and yapped a lot. But in recent years, I've seen some cute and relatively quiet ones. The hubby grimaces at the thought of owing what he considers such a "foo-foo" dog.)

12) Any small, short-haired, female dog (Yes, I would prefer a girl dog. Of course, the hubby is lobbying for just the opposite.)

13) Hairless (Come on, how could you not love a dog who looks scared and shivers a lot? At least I wouldn't have to worry about her shedding .)

Well, any suggestions? I'm open . . . even though I'd still prefer a cat. Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

SOUTHERN EBONICS 101 . . . OUR COLORFUL LANGUAGE . . .

In my previous post, my good friend and Memphis "Go-To-Guy" (MR) expressed a bit of amusement at my use of the term "mama 'nem." Likewise, in another post, my use of the phrase "ripping and running" caught the attention of my Detroit-based internet pal, Malcolm (of Malcolm's Pop Culture Dish). I'd dare say, by now most regular readers of the OLD SCHOOL MIX have noticed my indulgence and delight in the "colorfulness" of the Southern Black vernacular. While I am quite capable of expressing myself in the "King's English," whenever I can get away with it, I generally opt to go another route.

There have been occasions in the past when my word choices have proved slightly problematic, particularly for those readers (and listeners) unfamiliar with my Memphis brand of Southern Ebonics. So I thought it might be fun, if not somewhat educational, to post a list of words and phrases I've heard used by African Americans who hail from Memphis and/or the Mid-South tri-state area (specifically SW Tennessee, NW Mississippi & NE Arkansas).

Oh, I bet some of y'all thought all Black Southerners chewed up and spat out the language in much the same way, huh? Yeah, well, while some things carry over, there are quite a few regional differences. For instance, the folks from East Tennessee have more of a noticeable "twang" in their "thang" than those who hail from West Tennessee. On the other hand, a lot of Memphis folks are known for what my friend MW, a communications instructor, describes as a "mumble."

Anyway, let's get to the list. How many of the following words and/or phrases do you know? How many do you use? I'll give my own definitions and responses in a future post.

1) bourgie

2) chillren / chilluns

3) Christmas gift

4) deef

5) haint

6) hainty

7) hey

8) holped

9) knee baby

10) main / mane

11) Mama 'nem

12) mannish

13) rougish

14) sadiddy / saditty

15) scound-bugga

16) sho' nuff

17) slobbed

18) Sunday week

19) trifling

20) you (s) a tale / tail

MORE EVERYDAY MUSINGS . . . OLD SCHOOL STYLE . . .

1) Has anyone, besides me, noticed that Michael Vick bears an uncanny resemblance to that bad dog named "King" that at least one neighbor kept chained up in the yard back in the day?

2) Am I the only one who thinks Flava Flav, Lil Wayne, Tommy Lee and Britney Spears all look like they could benefit from a good scrub down with some of Granny's lye soap? (Granny of "The Beverly Hillbillies" for all you youngsters out there who are scratching your heads and saying who?)

3) Am I the only one who's never seen Lindsey Lohan in anything--besides a news blurb or a clip from a tv tabloid?

4) Does anyone, besides me, wish the media would just let folks like Anna Nicole, Elvis, Tupac, Biggie and Princess Diana rest in peace?

5) Am I the only one who's noticed that men who use the word "sexy" in a song, are generally anything BUT that? (Think about it. Rod Stewart: "Do You Think I'm Sexy?" Ah, that would be a NO! Right Said Fred: "I'm Too Sexy" Yeah, in some alternate world, perhaps. Baby Face: "Grown & Sexy" Well, he got the grown part right. And for anyone who dares say Justin Timberlake: "Sexy Back"--NO, I'M AFRAID NOT . . . First of all, Cute and Sexy are two entirely different things . . . )

6) Has anyone, besides me, caught themselves singing (or humming) along with the "Viva Viagra" commercial? Uh-uh, don't lie. (Ugh, I can't get that durn song out of my head!)

7) Does anyone, besides me, get the feeling that R. Kelly's alleged victim is gonna hit menopause before the case against Kelly ever goes to trial? Dag, the man is still touring, making records, releasing even more bad videos and everything. (All kidding aside, last I heard the poor girl in this case was getting ready to have a baby ).

8) Has anyone, besides me, ever wondered why the folks hired by shows like Entertainment Tonight and America's Next Top Model to critique women's hairstyles and fashion choices are mainly men? . . . (I'm saying, men, who, themselves, typically look like oversized trolls?)

9) Has anyone, besides me, ever wondered who Sweet Pea's real daddy is? (Yes, I am talking Sweet Pea of "PopEye" cartoon fame). Wouldn't you love to see that bad episode of Maury? But rather than the most obvious suspects (PopEye or Brutus), wouldn't it be funny if Olive Oly's real baby daddy turned out to be none-other-than that ole hamburger begging "Wimpy" or even worse . . . PopEye's old lecherous daddy--"Poopdeck Pappy?"

10) Am I the only one who's noticed that people who ask, solicit and/or outright beg for your opinion . . . really and truly only want your agreement and/or affirmation (*smile*)

Yeah, I know . . . on most of those, I'm probably the only one. But if you do have any comments and/or additions, be my guest . . .