MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY . . . YOU SHO'LL BEEN GOOD TO ME . . .

From Lori & her Daddy's Picture Collection

Christmas morning 196?

Yes, that's me from some long ago Christmas past. Not really sure how old I was, but I bet my Dad, who sometimes checks my blog, will know. He'll probably even tell me after he finishes complaining about me "stealing" his pictures again.

Notice the silver tree? Yes, we did have the color wheel that went with that bad boy. Even after we got rid of the tree we kept using the color wheel for years. Some of my best memories are lying beneath the Christmas tree with the lights out, watching the colors change--red, yellow, green, blue and while listening to the Jackson Five Christmas Album. Yeah, y'all don't know nothing 'bout that (smile).

Notice too the one present I'm obviously smitten with? Not the dishes, not the kitchen set in the box, not the stuffed dog or whatever the heck that is sitting on the table. Nope, for me it's always been about music and books. I may have mentioned this once before, but according to Moms when I was a baby (before I could walk or talk) my folks used to hand me books upside down and watch me cry until someone turned the book rightside up. They never could figure out how (and without the benefit of pictures) I instinctively seemed to know something just wasn't right. Funny how some things never change. I still don't much like my words turned upside down . . .

So hey, I'm off to celebrate the holidays with my peoples. Thanks for visiting and commenting. Thanks for making me laugh, think, ask questions and wonder why. A special thanks to those of you who've already pre-ordered my book. There's nothing like watching those Amazon numbers change (smile). If you enjoy it, I hope you'll share what pleased you about it with others. If you hate it, feel free to come back and tell me why. In any case, If The Good Lord is Willing and the Creek Don't Rise, I'll catch up with you all again in the New Year.

PEACE AND BLESSINGS

THURSDAY THIRTEEN#13 . . . 13 REASONS TO BUY MY BOOK . . . AFTER THE DANCE . . .

Yeah, I know. Shameless self-promotion, right? Well, at least I'm doing it over here in my own little spot and not junking up your in-box with it (smile). So humor me, all right? Officially, the book (After The Dance) doesn't make its debut in bookstores until April of 2008, which gives you plenty of time to at least give it some thought. So anyway, if you were going to buy my book, which one of following just might work for you?

1) If you pre-order now from Amazon, you'll get a really great discount. (Cheap is good, right? Okay, except when it comes to husbands, dates, boob-jobs and cars.)

2) You're in need of a new doorstop. (Can you say "multi-purpose?")

3) You feel sorry for me. (Hey, it worked for Sanjaya of American Idol fame.)

4) You enjoy my Thursday 13's. (Same kind of humor, slightly different format.)

5) You want to be among the first to trash it. (Okay, Mom if this works for you, what can I say?*smile*)

6) You typically enjoy romantic comedies. (Yes, wedged between the snarkiness and the over the top humor, there's actually an honest-to-goodness love story.)

7) You'll do anything to get me to shut up talking about it. (Hey, if you buy two or more, you won't hear another dang peep outta me.)

8) You routinely support new authors. (Okay, I've been around for a while, but this is my first book.)

9) You're curious to see how or if I pulled it off. (I am talking about the book . . . it's not even that kind of party.)

10) You're in the mood for a fun read. (No, it ain't all that deep.)

11) You're in need of an inexpensive gift. (Really, at $15.oo, it's practically a steal.)

12) You're a fan of music from the old school. (Old school, rules y'all! And there's plenty of it in my book.)

13) You want to be counted among the first to give it a thumbs up. (All joking aside, I am hoping that at least a few folks will enjoy my first full-length literary offering.)

Thanks for the indulgence. In today's competitive marketplace, a girl has to hawk her wares every chance she gets. At least that's what the publishing folks keep telling me (smile).

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ANOTHER WRITER'S WISDOM . . . ON PUBLISHING YOUR FIRST BOOK . . .

While blog hopping several weeks ago, I ran across a gem of a piece entitled "Things I've Learned Since My First Book Got Published." The writer, Cherie Priest, posted a list of 20 things she'd learned in the process of publishing her first book.

Even though my own debut novel is still several months away from hitting the shelves, I can already relate to most of the items on Ms. Priest's list. The following are the ones in particular that made me nod, smile, laugh and had me shouting "Oh so true!"

Priest: "Everyone will think you are rich: Obviously, if you got a book published, someone must have given you fat sacks of cash dollars American . . ."

(My comment: Not only will people assume such, some will be so bold or rude as to ASK about the amount of your advance. Please, if nothing else, do understand, that those six figure book deals you sometimes read or hear about are the EXCEPTIONS, not the rule. Most folks who score a publishing deal are not getting paid mega-bucks. So, if that's the only reason you're trying to write, I'd advise you to look for a more lucrative hustle.)

Priest: "No one will believe you did it by writing a book that was worth publishing. Aspiring writers will be sure you had a secret short cut and you are a raging bitch for holding out on all those other poor folks who are just as worthy as you . . ."

My comment: Why is it some folks want to believe all you need is to secure the right "hook-up" or association with the right person and/or persons and the rest will take care of itself? Maybe there are some folks who actually do brown-nose or bull-s&!t their way into book deals. But I'm inclined to think the majority took the same route I did-- you know, the one that starts with sitting one's butt down in a chair somewhere and writing until there's a finished product? And if you think that part is hard, there's really no need of discussing what comes next.

Priest: "You now have the inside track to publishing. Everyone you've ever known--even in passing--who has ever written a book now thinks it's your God-given duty to put them in touch with your agent/editor/publisher. This will get awkward."

My comment: Ain't that the truth! Again, it appears to be the ole "hook me up" phenomenon at play here. Folks you hardly know and whose work you've never even read want you to "hook them up" with your agent or the editor at your publishing house. Really, this is not the same as making a recommendation for a foot doctor, a plumber or a hair stylist.

When it comes to finding an agent, I really think it's best to do YOUR OWN research as opposed to asking me for mine (smile). Find out the names and the contact info for the agents who represent what you've written. Find out if they're currently taking on new clients. Write them a query letter describing your work, telling them about your background and possibly why you want them to represent you.

Okay, I don't mind you asking me how I got my agent, or even about our working relationship. If I like you and trust that you won't abuse the info (see the next item on the list) I may even give you her name (smile) but PLEASE DON'T ask me for her contact information. It's not my job to hook you up.

Priest: "People will use your name to lie. At least twice, other writers with whom I was peripherally acquainted approached my (now former) agent and told him that I'd recommended them."

My comment: Nothing shocks me any more. In this age of win at all costs, folks seem willing to say or do anything if they think it will get them ahead. This is one of the main reasons I avoid giving out detailed information about my agent and other literary contacts. I have yet to give the name of my agent on this blog, but any savvy Googler can easily find it. But for the record, I honestly haven't been with my agent long enough to feel comfortable recommending folks to her.

Besides, recommendations don't always work out. I got MY FIRST AGENT via a totally unsolicted recommendation from a well-intentioned associate. If I told you who that agent was and who else she represented, you'd probably be incredibly impressed. But even though she eagerly signed me, she, as it turns out, was SO NOT the right agent for me.

As I indicated, these were some of my favorites from Cherie Priest's 20 item list. If you'd like to read the others see: "Things I've Learned Since My First Book Got Published."

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #12 . . . 13 WRESTLING MATCHES (No Holds Barred) I'D LOVE TO SEE . . .

Okay, ordinarily I'm a pretty peaceful person. But come on, aren't there some folks you'd just love to see put in a head-lock, spun around and pimp-slapped a couple of times? Nothing beats a good, old fashion thrashing. Well, the following is a list of "no holds barred' wrestling matches I'd love to see.

1) ROSIE O'DONNEL vs DONALD TRUMP (I'm fairly sure Rosie would aim first for the hair and the Don would go for the gut)

2) KIM BASINGER vs ALEC BALDWIN (I'm guessing lots of name-calling, hissing and spitting would go on here)

3) ANN COULTER vs ELIZABETH EDWARDS (Oh, if only to see AC get both the dark glasses and the smirk smacked off her face)

4) OJ SIMPSON vs DENISE BROWN & FRED GOLDMAN (This would, no doubt, earn a "fight of the century" billing)

5) BARBARA WALTERS vs STAR JONES (In the event of any wig/weave-snatching or clothes ripping, spectators would be strongly advised to shield their eyes)

6) MONICA LEWINSKY vs LINDA TRIPP (I'm sure there's still plenty of bad blood between these two . . . if not one really nasty dress)

7) NAOMI CAMPBELL vs ALL OF HER FORMER ASSISTANTS (First we'd have to ban from the ring any objects which could possibly be hurled)

8) RUDY GIULIANI vs DENNIS KUCINICH (Lots of rabbit punches and low blows)

9) T.O. vs DONAVON MCNABB (Don't blame me, this was my son's contribution)

10) SIMON COWELL vs PAULA ABDUL (Doesn't Simon looks like the type who'd fight a girl?)

11) COLIN POWELL vs DICK CHENEY (Are we ready to rumble?! Or possibly find those weapons of mass destruction?)

12) DIANA ROSS vs MARY WILSON (Talk about an old grudge! These two really do need to let it go or else duke it out once and for all)

13) PUTIN vs BUSH (I can see it now--Putin straight gangsta walking (Three 6 Mafia style) around the ring and Bush doing his usual imitation of Festus (of Gunsmoke fame). Pretty scary stuff, huh? But it sure beats the possible alternative.

Would you pay for a ringside seat at any of these? What other knock-down, drag-outs might you want to see?

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YES! NOW THIS IS MY KIND OF . . . FALL & WINTER WEATHER . . .

Football Baby! From Lori's Picture

Collection

Of course, the picture above was taken some years ago, on the back deck of our old home in Memphis. The kid is considerably older now and while most days he can still be found with a ball of some sort in his hands, he won't hardly allow me to dress him like that any more (smile).

The point is though (one of them anyway) I'm used to and prefer the type of fall & winter weather depicted above and below. The foliage has browned. The leaves have fallen. There is a discernable nip in the air at night. But the most you ever need during the day is a sweater to go over your regular attire or, if like this kid, you're still being dressed by your mama, a jazzy jogging outfit and a cool cap will do quite nicely (smile).

More Football Y'all!

From Lori's Picture

Collection

Lately, the weather here in Charlotte hasn't even called for that much. A couple of days ago, we turned off the heat and turned on the air. The temps have been in the mid-70's and are forecast to reach 77-78 at some point this week. And in case you're wondering . . . Yes, I am loving every minute of it!

THURSDAY THIRTEEN #11 . . . 13 LESSONS YOU LEARN IN LIFE . . . THE HARD WAY . . .

1) The people you help the most will generally be among the first to let you down.

2) A "sorry" however sincere, won't always make it right.

3) Cats don't generally do baths.

4) Not everyone who smiles in your face or showers you with praise has your best interest in mind.

5) If a kid looks like he's about to throw-up, he probably is.

6) Excessive bravado is typically a mask for fear.

7) Excessive anger is typically a mask for pain.

8) The people who tell you "I'll call you" or "We've gotta do lunch one day" but never follow through, aren't really your friends.

9) Paprika and red pepper are not interchangeable.

10) A "maybe" isn't the same as a "yes."

11) A life spent talking, planning and dreaming about all you're gonna do, is typically a life unlived.

12) Just because a woman has a big, protuding belly doesn't necessarily mean she's pregnant.

13) Just because a man has a big, protruding ______ doesn't necessarily mean he knows what to do with it. ( don't act like you don't know what goes in the blank*smile*).

Okay, I'm bad, I know (LOL). Of course, we all know when it comes to "lessons in life" 13 is just a start. If there are other lessons you'd like to mention, feel free to tack them on in the comments.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others' comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants