Thursday Thirteen #45 . . . 13 Things To Expect After You Publish Your 1st Book

Yes, I am speaking from experience. If it's on the list, it really happened to me.

1) You will be overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.

2) You will be less than impressed by the pettiness of folks you thought you knew.

3) If you take a bowl of candy to one of your signings, some little fat kid is bound to come along and help him/herself to a big handful or two. Seriously, some little fat bast--um, I mean--adorable tyke will have the nerve to mean mug you while he/she's scarfing down and/or carting off the bulk of your treats.

4) If you show up at one of your signings with a tray of cookies & brownies, some old guy who claims he's a pastor will help himself to two or three pastries before informing you that he doesn't read the kind of books you write.

5) The thrill of checking your Amazon numbers will be a short-lived one.

6) You'll receive unsolicited phone calls, gifts and other such attention from people whose sole intent is to get close to your agent.

7) You'll discover an online "review" that reads more like a personal attack against you, than an objective critique of the book.

8) Folks who can barely navigate the ins and outs of basic grammar will offer to "edit" your next "fictional novel"-- for a reasonable price, of course.

9) You'll uncover inner strengths and talents you never realized you owned.

10) You'll gain a newfound respect for book lovers, librarians, and independent bookstores.

11) Folk who have no real interest in you or your book will stop by the table where you are signing and insist that you smile and pose for pictures.

12) You'll eventually conclude that writing the book was the easy part.

13) You'll learn not to take candy or pastries to your book signings . . . or perhaps you'll just learn how not to sweat the small stuff (LOL).

If you'd like to visit other

Thursday Thirteen participants

Be My Guest!

Drum Roll Please . . . An excerpt of A Natural Woman by Lori Johnson

In A Natural Woman (scheduled for publication by Kensington/Dafina in November), a young professor's infatuation with the man who cuts and styles her hair sends her world spinning out of control.

A NATURAL WOMAN

by Lori Johnson

CHAPTER 1

Aliesha sucked in a deep breath and pushed open the door. A bell tinkled over her head and seven pairs of male eyes swiveled in her direction. As if on cue, the rhythmic licks and beats of a guitar and a pair of sticks on a set of drums suddenly filled the air. Not more than a second or two later, Johnnie Taylor screamed and launched into the first verse of "Who's Makin' Love?" Aliesha exhaled, smiled, and strutted forward. Beneath the surface of her brave mask lurked the hope that she hadn't made an incredibly egregious misstep. Today, rather than drive past Wally's Cool Cuts like she had for close to six months now, she'd decided to stop.

Don't You Want To Know What Happens Next?

If so, visit my website

www.lorijohnsonbooks.com

and read

Chapters 1 & 2.

You can also *pre-order* a copy of

A Natural Woman

via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and most of the major book carriers and outlets.

Praise For A Natural Woman (by Lori Johnson)

Essence bestselling author, Lonnice Brittenum Bonner was kind enough to make the following remarks about my soon-to-be released novel, A Natural Woman:

"A Natural Woman is not your staid, tired 'message novel' about the righteousness of Afrocentricity--

this is a juicy read with sexual intrigue, dish and a smart, chocolate-skinned heroine with coily, napptural hair that men can't seem to keep their hands out of . . . ."

Lonnnice Brittenum Bonner, author of Good Hair: For Colored Girls Who've Considered Weaves When The Chemicals Became Too Ruff and Nice Dreads.

I'm Still Here . . .

Yeah, I know, it's been a while. Don't worry, all is well and I should be back to posting on a regular basis soon.

Among other things, in the coming days, look for me to post another "story" or two in the "Our Hair, Our Stories" series I've been featuring on the blog. Also, I'll be sharing some of the best selling author, Lonnice Brittenum Bonner's thoughts about my new novel, A Natural Woman. Ms. Bonner has authored several books on the topic of "natural hair," among them, Good Hair: For Colored Girls Who've Considered Weaves When The Chemicals Became Too Ruff and Nice Dreads.

Last, but not least, I hope you're ready for that excerpt of A Natural Woman I've been promising for the longest. If all goes well, I should have a couple of chapters for you to read by the weekend. Stay tuned . . .

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Sharon J.)

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories

(Sharon J.'s Story)

Background / I'm a Cleveland resident and native. I've worked as a newspaper and magazine reporter, substitute teacher, telemarketer, shoe saleswoman, hotel maid, hotel reservation clerk. I am currently a secretary at a state university and a graduate student pursuing a master's degree in English.

Hairstyle / I wear a short Afro. It's about a half an inch high. I have been wearing my hair natural for almost eight years. At one time, my natural hair reached my shoulders. I often wore twists and twist outs. Last year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had to undergo chemo therapy and my hair began to fall out. I had thick twists hanging from one or two strands of hair. My sister, who is a hair stylist, shaved my head. I wore a short wig for about five months. My hair is starting to grow back now--a little grayer than before, but that's okay. People told me that my hair might be a different texture than it was prior to the chemo therapy; it would come back "nice" with a soft, wavy texture. I'm happy to say that my hair returned to its nice African texture.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / I quit a job around the same time the economy took a nose dive. Rule number 1--don't quit a job if you don't have another one lined up. I couldn't afford to keep up my relaxed hair and it started to break off. Either Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve of 2001, I decided to cut the perm out. It just got good to me, I guess. I wound up with a three-inch Afro. I haven't been to a hair salon since that time. I just can't afford it. Besides, I have always liked natural, African textured hair. I think women who wear natural styles look very modern and stylish.

Support for your natural look / I've gotten mixed responses. I began to wear my hair natural while working as a substitute teacher. One of the students told me I looked like Macy Gray, and she didn't mean it as a compliment. I told her, that's okay, at least Macy Gray can spell. I know I was wrong, but I could resist. Another time I was working in the ticket booth at a theater and these two Black female supervisors called me into the office to tell me they had problems with my grooming. My hair was fairly long and thick. I used to wear a hair band. One of these daughters of Satan told me that my hair style got in her craw, and if I knew how much Black women had to struggle to get ahead that I wouldn't wear my hair that way. I'm happy to say that I do get encouragement from a lot of people that I respect for their fashion sense and pride in being Black.

Response to negative commentary / I usually ignore insults directed at me. I'm braver when it comes to defending other people when they're insulted about their natural hair.

A woman or women with natural hair whose style you admire / Macy Gray, Jill Scott, Michel Martin, Eleanor Holmes Norton, Tracee Ellis Ross and Whoopi Goldberg.

Useful natural hair care tips, styling techniques or products / I got in the habit of washing my hair with baby shampoo daily after my hair fell out. I still do that now that I have hair. I follow that with either Miss Jessie's products or curl activator. My sister works well with natural hair. It's good to find a stylist who knows how to treat your hair.

Advice for women considering a natural hairstyle / Save yourself some money and go natural.

Any blogs, websites, books or print magazines, which deal with the subject of natural hair that you'd like to share or recommend / Missjessies.com is good. It shows before and after pictures featuring twist out styles. MotownGirl.com provides a lot of useful advice on caring for natural hair. Nappturality.com also is great. It helps dispel the myth that African textured hair can't get long. Essence Magazine is a wonderful source of encouragement. It offers lots of options for styling natural hair.

Definition of a natural woman / A natural woman appreciates the way God made her and is not afraid to show it.

"Sharon J.'s Story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "Sharon J.'s Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments.

Thank You!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Pamella R.)

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories

Pamella R.'s Story

Pamella R.

Background / My name is Pamella R. and I am a 53 year old who currently resides in a suburb of Dallas, Texas. I am originally from Flint, Michigan and I spent over 16 years in Long Beach, California.

Hairstyle / Presently, I wear my hair in locs. I wore my natural hair for many years during junior high, high school and adulthood. During the '80s I wore my hair permed and in the dreaded Jheri curl. Through the first half of the '90s I went back and forth between a natural hairstyle and having a perm, until chemicals finally destroyed my hair. My hair had to be cut into a small natural, which grew relatively quickly. On the day I graduated from community college in May 1995, I twisted my hair and never looked back.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / I wear my hair natural because it makes me feel good and look good. While I still have to go to the salon to get re-twisted every six weeks, I no longer have to smell chemicals and burning hair, like in the traditional beauty shops, oops, I mean salons.

Support of your natural look / Everyone has been supportive of my hair choice, for the most part. Nobody seems to care whether or not I wear locs; however, I find that some Black women ask me why I do not dye my hair black, rather than leaving it salt and pepper. I usually tell them that it is a personal choice not to dye my hair, as I do not see myself as being defined by hair color or other superficial constraints that society tries to place on me.

Negative reactions / I cannot recall offhand any truly negative comments that I have received regarding my hair choice. If I have, the compliments exceeded any negative response. I do wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me "how long have you been growing your hair?"

Response to negative commentary / If I had to respond to a negative comment, I would say, quite sweetly, "You wear your hair the way you want and I will do the same."

Women with natural hair whose style you admire / Alice Walker and Toni Morrison are my mentors because they sported their locs when the styule was less popular and made it more mainstream.

Any useful natural hair care tips, styling techniques or products you'd like to share? / Keep your hair clean and don't put a lot of different products in your hair. Make sure you condition your hair after you wash it and remember, "greasing" your scalp clogs the pores and does not promote growth.

Advice for women considering a natural hairstyle / The style is a commitment to a new paradigm and it is not for everyone. You've got to be ready for a life altering change. I guarantee you will feel freeer when and if you go natural.

Any blogs, websites, books or print magazines, which deal with the subject of natural hair that you'd care to recommend? / Yes, the following books:

--Nice Dread: Hair Care Basics and Inspiration for Colored Girls Who've Considered Locking Their Hair by Lonnice Brittenum Bonner.

--Locs for Life: The Root to Well Being for African-American Women by Kalimah Johnson

--Hairlocking: Everything You Need to Know: African, Dread and Nubian Locks- by Nekhena Evans

Additional Commentary / I would like to add to all those reading this-- your hair is a part of you. Nobody has the right to touch you without permission. I have strangers coming up to me, touching my hair, and I find it disturbing, quite frankly. I sometimes try to be diplomatic and explain to them that they would not like it if I came up to them out of the blue and started touching their hair. Just because my hair is long does not mean you can touch it. Sometimes I become downright grumpy about it, because not only are you touching me without permission, I don't know where your hands have been!

Definition of a natural woman / My definition of a natural woman is one who knows herself and stays true to that knowledge.

If you'd like to learn more about

Pamella R.

visit her blog

Traces Of A Stream.

"Pamella R.'s Story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information). Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "Pamella R.'s Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments. Thank You!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Shelley S.)

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories

(Shelley S.'s Story)

Background / I'm a Cleveland, Ohio marketing professional and freelance writer. I'm over forty. I enjoy reading, writing, photography, knitting and paper crafting.

Hairstyle / I wear my hair in its natural curly state. Technically, I have worn it natural, without the use of chemical relaxers for about three years, but in its natural curly state for one year.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / First and foremost is convenience. I no longer have to add twenty minutes to my morning routine to curl or flat iron my hair. I now spritz or wet in the shower, put a little creme on and I am good to go. Second and equally important is the health of my hair. Before I went naturally curly, the stress of heat elements caused regular breakage.

Support of your natural look / Everyone is supportive, now. My husband was not happy at first, but recently admitted that he likes the new look. I also receive a lot of compliments from strangers and folks I haven't seen in a while.

Negative reactions / The only negative comment came from my husband when I first cut my hair and left it in its natural state, "It makes your head look big." Can you believe that? He regretted it as soon as the statement left his mouth. The only other slightly negative comment came from a former co-worker who said he couldn't run his fingers through my hair.

Response to negative commentary / Having not really had any, there has been no real need to comment. To the co-worker, I just told him that he wished he could have the opportunity--NOT!

Advice for women considering a natural hairstyle / Go for it--it is very liberating not to have to be chained to heating appliances and other chemicals to change the look of who you are. I have seen a number of women going natural and most have beautiful locks.

Any blogs, websites, books or print magazines, which deal with the subject of natural hair that you'd like to share or recommend? / Missjessies.com, I use these products, along with carolsdaughter.com, but I prefer Miss Jessie's.

Definition of a natural woman / I believe a natural woman is one who is true to herself and not constrained by the visions that others have of what her beauty is or should be. She is happy within.

If you'd like to learn more about

Shelley S.

please visit her blog

"Consider This."

"Shelley S.'s Story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "Shelley S.'s Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments.

Thank You!

Thursday Thirteen #44 . . . 13 Hairstylists & Hair Salon Pet Peeves

Not unlike, Professor Aliesha Eaton, the main character in my latest novel A Natural Woman, I've had a number of less than pleasant experiences with hairstylists and at hair salons. It is one of the primary reasons, I currently wear my own hair natural and typically do it at home. Hey, I'd rather take a chance on looking crazy, than put up with any of the following . . .

1) Music, conversation or the volume turned up so loud on a TV, I can't hear my own sighs of exasperation. (Even worse are those places where you're treated to a seemingly never-ending blend of the three).

2) The hairstylist who ignores your instructions and styles your hair the way he or she pleases ("What the heck! Now, I know I didn't come in here looking like a chicken, I'll be dang if I leave here looking like one!")

3) Those salons where I'm made to wait 30 minutes to an hour, past my scheduled appointment

4) Hairstylists who tell me WAY more than I care to know about their personal lives (Note, if you have an STD, a crack-habit, a number of crazy folks stalking you or a mole in an unusual place, do me a favor and keep that mess to yourself)

5) Those salons where I highly suspect more than half of the employees are armed, known felons or are listed on some law enforcement agency's most wanted list

6) Stylists who gossip viciously about everybody in the shop, customers and employees alike (Don't worry, I won't be telling you a d@mn thing)

7) Stylists who work on your head like they're weeding a briar patch

8) Stylists who are constantly on the phone, or who routinely hold long, drawn-out, highly animated conversations with other customers and/or hairstylists

9) Salons where arguing, cussing and fighting appear to be the norm

10) Salons where inappropriate movies are shown in color and on the big screen (Look, I am not trying to see anybody's sex tape. Not Paris Hilton's. Not R. Kelley's. Not Screech from Saved By the Bell. And most certainly not your friend or cousin Bay-Bay who lives around the way . . .)

11) Hairstylists who move to a new salon every 4-6 months. (Dang, haven't you ever heard of staying put somewhere and building up your clientele?)

12) Salons where known gang-banger types, petty thieves and girls who work the stroll (don’t act like you don’t know what stroll I’m talking ‘bout) feel free to roam the parking lot and loiter in front of the building

13) Salons where the bootleggers, street vendors and sidewalk evangelists are permitted inside to peddle their wares

Yeah I know, perhaps I need to stay outta the hood and frequent more upscale hair establishments (LOL). But I know I’m not the only one who has ever encountered these kinds of issues.

In any case, if you are a hairstylist, beautician, barber, etc. who has never seen, done or experienced any of the aforementioned, great! I’m obviously, not talking about you or where you work, so please don’t cop an attitude or be offended. In fact, feel free to leave your contact information here in the section for comments . . .

If you'd like to visit other

Thursday 13 Participants

Be My Guest!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Gine)

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories

(Gine's Story)

Background / I live in Virginia and I'm 48.

Hairstyle / I wear locs. I've been wearing locs for three or four years.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / There were multiple reasons, including being sick and tired of sitting in shops, waiting for the relaxer to relax; paying for touch-ups every 4-6 weeks; scalp damage, etc.

Support for your natural look / My mother doesn't understand why I (and my older daughter) have chosen this style. Actually, I'm not sure she knows exactly what it is, bless her heart! But she once told my daughter that it reminded her "of slavery." My sister thinks it's pretty. Mostly, though, friends and strangers--even White people--compliment me on this style.

Negative reactions / I haven't had any negative reactions to my hair (except my mother). At least, not to my face.

Response to negative commentary / I ignore my mother's stance, keep my hair clean and pretty. LOL

A woman/women with natural hair whose style you admire / I love India.Arie's hair. It's beautiful and HER.

Useful natural hair care tips, styling techniques or products / My favorite shampoo is Dr. Bonner's Peppermint. I wash me and my hair with that stuff. It's great!

Advice for women considering a natural hairstyle / Do NOT assume that natural styles are "low-maintenance." If I want my locs, for example, to look neat and pretty, I get a "touch up" every nice weeks. (Better than 4-6!)

Useful blogs, websites, books or print magazines which focus on natural hair / This sister's blog helped me understand what my hair was doing, during the process, and she explained the two (major) kids of "locking":

See Here For Details . . . (www.daezhavoo.com/)

Definition of a natural woman / A "natural" woman is one who loves herself as she is, but isn't averse to improving herself the way she wants to be improved!

If you'd like to learn more about Gine,

please visit her blog

Not at ALL What You Thought.

"Gine's story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "Gine's Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments.

Thank You!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Femi A.)

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories

Femi A.'s Story

Background / I live in Memphis and I am the director of African American Studies at LeMoyne-Owen College.

Hairstyle / I wore dredlocks for 30 years. I just cut them off one month ago, and now wear a short natural. I have worn natural hair since I was 20.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / I started wearing natural hair to challenge my own perceptions of what was pretty or ugly. I started wearing dredlocks to expand my interest in the versatility of hair. I remain natural today because to paraphrase a Langston Hughes poem--In an envelope marked personal, I wrote God a question of why my nappy hair was ugly. In an envelope marked personal, and from God, there was a golden dredlock.

Support of your natural look / I have never depended on or looked for support on decisions about my hair consciousness.

Negative reactions / The response to my short, natural hair in 1966, in Memphis was that I looked like a boy. When I started wearing dredlocks in the late 70s and early 80s--some called me "buckwheat," some asked how could I stand not to comb my hair.

Response to negative commentary / I say positive things about my hair texture and curl.

A woman/women with natural hair whose style you admire / When I was younger, Miriam Mekeba and Odetta because they dared to wear the natural. Now, I look past the physical admiration, but I do appreciate Epatha Merkerson and especially Toni Morrison's grey locks.

Advice for women considering a natural hairstyle / Don't depend on compliments.

Additional commentary / Well, "natural" and the "natural look" are contradictory terms in African American life, especially for the African female. I tired so long ago of hearing about managing hair and shiny hair. It was most depressing to see Jessie Jackson revealing the poverty of Sugar Ditch in Mississippi with pictures of permed and slick-haired sisters in shacks with newspaper wallpaper, roaches and no plumbing. It is depressing to see sisters on the continent today who have the straightest weaves I have ever seen, and in the Dakar neighborhoods, braid weave strands strewn at the edge of sandy streets with other garbage.

"Femi A.'s story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "Femi A.'s Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments.

Thank You!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Kim F.)

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories

Kim F.'s Story

Kim F.'s Story

Background / I'm an Ohioan, but I'm moving to Cario, Egypt to teach radio journalism at The American Univeristy in Cario. I'll be there for at least one year. I am a lover of hip hop music.

Hairstyle / I currently have locs. I started my locs in January 2000. They are not long as I trim them once or twice a year. I went natural about 2-3 months before I began to loc my hair.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / At the time, I worked out a lot; spent a lot of time at the gym, usually in the morning, but I had to work at 8 a.m., so I needed a quick and easy hairstyle where I would not have to compromise a large portion of my workout time to do my hair.

Support of your natural look / My friends have been most supportive. Interesting how my mom often says, "you ruined your hair." I have that 'good hair.' My mom and my grandmother take jabs at my hair whenever they can sneak it in. But recently my grandmother commented that my hair always looks neat. So that's a move in the right direction.

Negative reactions / I am always tempted to correct people when they say 'dreadlocks.' There is nothing dreadful about them. I just prefer the term locs. Most people comment on how neat my hair is. I usually wash it at least once a week and I usually sleep w/a scarf to keep up a nice, clean look.

Response to negative commentary / I'm in the habit of ignoring anyone who makes negative comments. Otherwise, my reponse is to give them an earful and sometimes that will include profanity.

A woman or women with natural hair whose style you admire / Commentator Nancy Giles has a nice natural do. Oh, and I like the Macy Gray look, which is similar to Nancy's. More of a messy afro.

Useful hair care tips, styling techniques or products / I have a dry scalp and I recently discoverd some KeraCare products that I absolutely love. They have shampoo, conditioner and a product called 'glossifer.'

--I try to wash my hair weekly. It ususally takes me about 30-40 minutes to palm roll it and oil my scalp.

--Occasionally, I will get my hair done at a salon. It's too pricey for me though.

Advice for women considering a natural hairstyle / Do it. Natural is less fussy (or it should be) and you can focus on the more important things in life. When I sleep with a scarf on, I can literally get up and go! Love that. I save, at least, 20 minutes since I do not have to do my hair.

Additional commentary / I've been considering getting rid of my loc. Just time for a change. I will probably cut them off when I return from Cario, Egypt. I will more than likely remain natural though.

If you'd like to learn more about Kim F., visit her blog

"Radio Girl."

"Kim F.'s Story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. I plan to post two-three "stories" per week. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "Kim F.'s Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments. Thanks!

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (A. Jalani)

A. Jalani's Story

Background / I am 51 years old. I was born in Memphis, TN and have lived all of my life in the Southern States. I'm a writer and student, currently pursing a master's in fine arts.

Hairstyle / Presently, my hair is in dreadlocks. I started wearing an Afro in high school in the mid-70s. I switched to dreadlocks after my marriage in 1992.

Reason for wearing a "natural" hairstyle / My high school years coincided with the latter part of the Black Arts/Black Power Movement. Though I didn't know much about The Movement back then, I was interested in it and emulated the style. Bob Marley and Rastafarians gained popularity during my post-undergraduate days and people began wearing dreadlocks. The man I eventually married was wearing locks when I met him and an old college friend helped me switch styles shortly after the wedding. I admire Bob Marley and enjoy some Reggae music. But I have never been a Rastafarian.

Support of your natural look / The folks that I refer to as my non-biological family have been most supportive.

Negative reactions / Mostly people just tend to stare. Store security sometimes act as if they expect me to steal.

Response to negative commentary / I usually just say that my mother doesn't like my hairstyle either. The implication here is that if I am not changing to appease my own mother, then I am certainly not interested in the opinion of the current speaker.

A woman with natural hair whose style you admire / Toni Morrison. She impresses me as a strong independent woman with a clear spirit and a lot of talent.

Advice for women considering a more natural hairstyle / It's more work than it seems and be prepared for peoples' attitudes towards you to change.

Additional Commentary / When I first moved to Memphis in 1985, a woman with a short afro was considered unfeminine. When dreadlocks first gained currency, many people thought that it was not possible to keep that much natural Black hair clean and that it could harbor bugs, such as ticks, especially in warm weather, which was in keeping with the belief that the kind of people who wore dreadlocks weren't that interested in personal hygiene.

There was a time when natural hairstyles were an expression of identification with African heritage and Black unity. When I first began wearing dreadlocks I knew about everybody in Memphis who wore locks, at least by sight. Now locks are everywhere, including television news, government offices, and on non-Blacks. Dreadlocks are not synonymous with Black culture anymore, but it's good to see that something so culturally specific is no longer considered a social stigma.

Definition of "A Natural Woman" / To me, a natural woman is a woman who is a useful, nurturing part of her community without letting her personal development be confined by the expectations of that community or by the larger society.

"A. Jalani's story" is part of an on-going series I created that focuses on African American women who wear their hair au naturel. Check the archives (see sidebar on the right) for past segments, features and profiles. If you'd like to participate in the series, please email me for details (go to my blog's profile page or visit my website for contact information).

Your feedback is always appreciated. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have about "A. Jalani's Story," the "Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories" series or Black hair in general, in the section below marked for comments.

Thank You!

Thursday Thirteen # 43 . . . 13 Quotes by Authors & Writers

The following are 13 of my favorite quotes by Authors & Writers.

1) If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." --Toni Morrison

2) Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae." — Kurt Vonnegut

3) Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

4) Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

--Flannery O'Connor

5) "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." — Anton Pavlovich Chekhov

6) Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open." — Natalie Goldberg Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within)

7) "When your rage is choking you, it is best to say nothing. " — Octavia E. Butler(Fledgling

8) Loneliness is black coffee and late-night television; solitude is herb tea and soft music. Solitude, quality solitude, is an assertion of self-worth, because only in the stillness can we hear the truth of our own unique voices." —Pearl Cleage (Deals With the Devil: And Other Reasons to Riot

9) "In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

--George Orwell

10) "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." "--Maya Angelou

11) "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Ralph Waldo Emerson

12) "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."

--Elbert Hubbard

13) "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." — Robert A. Heinlein

Do you relate to any of the quotes on my list? Are there any quotes by authors you'd care to share?

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Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories (Lori)

My Story

I'm a 40 some year old Black woman and like most in that particular demographic, I spent a large portion of my childhood wearing my hair like you see in the picture above--pressed and pig-tailed and on special occasions, pressed and curled.

Age 13 (or thereabouts) marked my first experience with a chemical relaxer. Hate to point a finger, but it was my mother's idea (smile). She had the best of intentions and put me in the hands of a capable beautician. Even so, I remember both the burn of the relaxer and my hair breaking off in the weeks thereafter.

Me, my cousins and our M'Deah.

I'm the tall one with the lipstick and earrings (smile).

High School is when I first started wearing my hair in a natural or what some call an "afro." I'm not sure why, but I've never liked the term "afro." My preference for describing my hair when it is unrelaxed, unchemically altered or unstraightened is "natural."

I like wearing my hair natural--always have and I've never viewed it as any sort of fashion or overt political statement. To be honest, it's just who I am and how I've long viewed myself--as a natural woman.

Yes, since becoming an adult, I have worn my hair straightened and relaxed. Versatility and change make life all the more interesting is my personal philosophy. In the picture above, I'm rocking a curl . . Uh-huh, as in Jheri, thank you every much. Mine, I'd like to think, was kinda cute. In any case, it was a phase and those were the days.

In the picture below, I'm sporting a short, relaxed look, not unlike the style I wore until my family's relocation from Memphis to the Cleveland area in 2001.

After a series of less then positive experiences with hairstylists, hard water and rough winter weather in the Cleveland area, I decided the time had come for me to revert to what I know and manage best--my natural roots.

Me and my twists.

Even after moving back down South to Charlotte, North Carolina, where I currently reside, I stayed natural. Typically, I'm a twists (see above), twist-outs or a full out 'fro kind of girl.

On occasion, I will flat-iron or press

my hair (see pic on right) but I haven't

chemically altered my hair in years and I don't foresee doing so any time soon.

(Believe it or not, my hair in the

picture on the right is shorter than

the picture above. I got it flat-ironed

in order to get my ends cut.)

Why fear it or fight it? It's natural . . .

Just a bit untwisted . . .

Look for me to share a little bit more about my natural hair journey in the coming days, but in the meantime, I'll be sharing the stories of some friends and aquaintances--all of whom, like me, consider themselves "natural women."

Natural Women: Our Hair, Our Stories . . .

An Intro

"In its natural state, as far as most people are concerned, Black women's hair is unpresentable."

Asali Solomon (from her essay "Black Fuzzy Thing" which appears in Naked: Black Women Bare All About Their Skin, Hair, Hips, Lips and Other Parts)

Professor Aliesha Eaton, the protagonist in my novel, A Natural Woman, is a young Black woman whose natural hair is an integral part of the storyline. A number of different factors led me to write A Natural Woman, among them, the variety of responses my own hair has invoked during those period of my life when I've opted to wear it natural.

For the record, I'm not what some might consider a natural hair "purist" nor am I particularly interested in becoming a spokeswoman for the natural hair movement. Even though it's been over four years since I've had a chemical relaxer in my hair, on occasion, I still get it straightened--via flat-iron or an old fashioned hot comb.

Just as I whole-heartedly believe it's a woman prerogative to change her mind, I feel just as strongly about a woman's right to wear her hair any damn way she pleases. At this particular point in my life, what pleases me most days is to wear my hair in its natural state.

In the coming days, I plan to share a bit more of my own personal story, as it relates to hair and why I currently opt to wear mine natural. Joining me will be a number of other Black women who wear their hair natural and who have kindly volunteered to share their own stories.

If you are an African American woman who wears her hair natural (locs, twists, 'fro, braids, etc) and you are interested in becoming a part of this series, email me and I'll send you the list of questions. You can contact me at (after dot dance at hot mail dot com) or you can use the contact feature located on my website or the one on my blog's profile page (click on the profile link in the column to your right).

Thursday Thirteen #42 . . . 13 Michael Jackson and J5 Memories . . .

1) Getting 3 J5 albums for Christmas

2) Stacking my J5 albums on a turntable and listening to them one after the other

3) Somebody screaming "The Jackson Five are on TV!" and everybody running inside so as not to miss another spin, turn or lyric

4) Arguing with my best friend over which one of us was gonna marry Michael Jackson

5) Watching the J5 cartoon on Saturday morning

6) Buying any books or teen magazines I see on the newstands which have a story or pictures of MJ and/or the Jackson Five

7) Adorning my walls with posters of Michael and the J5

8) Making scrapbooks with pictures of Michael and the J5

9) Michael Jackson's appearance on the Dating Game

10) Michael Jackson doing the Robot to "Dancing Machine"

11) Michael Jackson doing the Moon Walk to "Billie Jean"

12) Missing the "old" Michael long before his death

13) Listening to my son play "I'll Be There" on this alto sax approximately an hour before the news of Michael Jackson's death hit the airwaves

Do you have any memories of Michael Jackson and/or the Jackson Five you'd like to share?

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A Lil Bit of This & A Lil Bit of That . . .

Well, if you're interested, you can now check me out or befriend me on Facebook.

In anticipation of my upcoming release, A Natural Woman, my website has a brand New Look. As soon as I'm able, I'll post an excerpt.

In case you haven't already noticed, I've posted a new "Natural Hair" link category (move to the right-side of the blog and scroll down). In the coming days, I hope to add a number of other links, which deal with or cover topics associated with natural hair. If you have suggestions or favorite "natural hair" sites by all means, email me or drop me a note in the sections for comments.

In keeping with the new natural hair focus, I also plan to post a few interviews with African American women who sport natural hair styles. If you'd like to be included, let me know and I'll email you the list of questions. If you'd like to participate, but would rather not have your indentity revealed, I don't have any problems with an anonymous posting of your responses.

MICHAEL (The King of Pop) . . . I'll Miss You . . . Rest In Peace . . .

Yes, even though I plead guilty to having poked fun at the one-glove-wonder and his family over the last several years, I've always had nothing but the highest respect for Michael Jackson's talents as an entertainer, singer and performer.

The first music I ever owned were vinyl albums cut by the Jackson Five, albums I still own to this day. My first school girl crushes were on MJ and his brothers, back when they sported the big 'fros and the bell bottoms. Posters of them from Right On magazine and elsewhere graced my bedroom walls. All it took was for somebody to shout, "The Jackson Five are on TV!" and like all of the other kids who'd been out playing or standing around outside, and I was off and running for the house. I'm old and grown and I still get chills when I see those clips off Mike and his brothers on stage doing those moves and singing those songs . . . "ABC" "The Love You Save" and "I Want You Back."

Damn, he's gone.

An hour before the news of Michael Jackson's death hit the airwaves, my son was upstairs in his room praticing "I'll Be There" on his alto sax. Something tells me that wasn't at all by chance. And I guess it's only fitting that the song is now one I'll always associate with the news of MJ's passing.

I'm sad, but not only about Mike. To be honest, a part of me, the starry-eyed little girl, I suppose, was really hoping Mike would finally get it together and reunite with his brothers for one last concert tour. Seriously. But it won't be until December, when I take my old J5 Christmas album out for a listen and hear that sweet angelic voice, that I'll really break down and cry.

Thursday Thirteen # 41 . . . 13 Candidates for the OSM's Worst Parents In The World Award . . .

My dear husband is a big fan of MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olberman. Me? Not so much. Before you get it twisted, yeah, I am very much a liberal, I just prefer my news the old fashioned way--without the obvious bias, the additional commentary and all of that dang shouting. In particular, that whole "Worst Person In the World" segment strikes me as a wee bit over the top. I tend to file those sorts of things under entertainment rather than news.

So, in the name of entertainment, I don't have a problem with borrowing the "Worst Person" concept for the Old School Mix's Thursday Thirteen--The 13 Candidates for the Worst Parents In the World Award.

1) Jon & Kate (minus the 8)

2) Octo-Mom and the Anonymous Sperm Donor

3) The parents who bring their infants, toddlers, preschoolers and/or underage kid (s) into R-rated movies

4) Michael Jackson

5) Penny's Mama (from the old Good Times TV series)

6) Katherine & Joe Jackson

7) The Parents of the Rugrats

8) Homer & Marge Simpson

9) Ozzie & Sharon Osbourne

10) Britney & K-Fed

11) Christina Raines (the woman who, along with her kids, was shacked up with Drew Peterson before his most recent arrest)

12) Bobby & Whitney

13) Any parent who puts full make up (blush, lipstick, eyelashes, liner, etc.) on an infant, toddler, preschooler, etc. and enters them into a beauty contest.

Well, those are some of my pics. Who would you nominate?

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Why Do I Write? What's The Pay-Off?

Several weeks ago, someone asked me what I perceived as the "pay-off" for what I do and ever since then, I've been pondering the "why" of it all.

Sometimes I wonder. It's certainly not the modest amount of money or attention it's garnered me, thus far. To be honest though, I've never had a burning desire to be rich or a celebrity or even a member of the in-crowd. I'm sure for some, even thinking such is a shocking sacrilege. We do appear to live in a society where just about everybody and their mamas make a point of clamoring for an extended stay in the spotlight, if not the 15 minutes of fame to which they somehow and for some reason feel entitled.

Mainly, I write because I enjoy it. The sheer pleasure of it, when it's going well, mind you, ranks right up there with eating and sex. Over and beyond my own enjoyment, I think I write because I'm in awe of the pleasure it's capable of bringing to others. Nothing beats a letter from a reader who claims my novel, After The Dance made her laugh harder than she's laughed in years. Nor will I ever forget the comments of the woman who attended one of my library readings and said what she enjoyed most about reading my book was that she could actually read the love scenes without cringing or squinting her eyes.

Fan mail and positive feedback from folks who've read and enjoyed my work, make some of the less-than-pleasant crap one is forced to endure on the "author's journey" worthwhile. But please don't look for me to go into detail about any of that crap. I'd much rather stay focused on the pluses and the positives, rather than those things that truly make me wonder if picking up a pen and writing another damn word is worth it.

If you're a writer (or an artist) and you feel like sharing, I'd love to hear your reasons for doing what you do.